The best and worst moments from the 29th Critics Choice Awards

It’s not every day we hear an acceptance speech that opens with “lazy, stupid, and boring.” Let alone one that describes a winner’s performance as “like Pee-Wee Herman emerging from a coma.” But that’s what happens when Robert Downey Jr. wins at the Critics Choice Awards. Downey hasn’t always been the critics’ choice, and after collecting his statue for his towering performance in , he was more than happy to remind them. Hey, turnabout’s fair play.

Award shows are too long. This is known, but they are what they are, and what work event doesn’t run about an hour longer than you hope? That said, these awards do mean a lot to the people winning them, as well as those who worked on the project being awarded. By splitting time between supporting actors, we diminish the award. Someone like Jonathan Bailey, who won Best Supporting Actor for , is also making a case for his project, which many may have missed. It’s just a shame he didn’t get all the time to himself.

That said, Jonathan Bailey’s acceptance speech was a pure delight, not just because he seemed genuinely surprised by the win but because he worked that split time like a pro. Bailey’s use of double entendre, particularly surrounding the word “climax,” deserves an award of its own.

The Critics Choice Awards started from a disadvantage. ’ Dominic Sessa was one of the first winners of the night, but we’d never get to see it. Like , , and Hoyte van Hoytema’s Oppenheimer cinematography (which forced the movie industry to bend to its will), Sessa accepted the award off-screen. How they choose what goes on the show and what doesn’t is a bit of a mystery, but if there isn’t enough time to show the win, maybe there are too many categories.

Gloria’s Barbie monologue has been picked apart, analyzed, and praised for its brevity, wit, and resonance. But can we spare a moment for the very good speech from the actor who played Gloria? Despite the Critics Choice Awards not abiding by Ferrera’s edits, inadvertently setting up a possible repeat of De Niro at the Gotham Awards, Ferrera accepted the SeeHer Award with a heartfelt speech about the “fierce and fantastic women” she and her colleagues brought to life in recent years. That her speech opened with Margot Robbie running down the non-Barbie roles that made Ferrera a television icon before donning all the pink was the icing on the cake.

We’re not here to put Bella Ramsey on blast. But whoever wrote her joke about actors who cannot sing, a list that included Ryan Gosling and actual professional singers Jack Black and Ariana DeBose, clearly didn’t do their research. Jack Black’s Tenacious D work might not move the writers of this joke, but c’mon, Ariana DeBose is a Tony and Oscar winner, specifically for singing. Ramsey’s co-presenter, Anthony Ramos, who, like DeBose, starred in a little show called Hamilton, should know this.

We love to see a wife guy who continues to look out for his spouse well after their show ends. Matthew Rhys’ commitment to his TV wife Keri Russell extends far past The Americans and charmed the heck out of those browsing pics of the Critics Choice red carpet on Getty.

We know this is a , but Barbie is an adapted screenplay. Just as all the Barbie properties before this one had been. It doesn’t matter that this is a post-modern deconstruction of the toys or its place in culture. Half the characters in this film, as well as their professions, were determined before Gerwig and Baumbach put pen to page. Adaptation doesn’t mean the film is any less interesting, funny, or worthy of acclaim. Barbie is a feat of adaptation and should be celebrated as such unless the Critics Choice Award-winning writers want to take credit for coming up with a character named “Allan,” with two Ls and an A.

The biggest movie of the year deserves its non-financial flowers. When Barbie was awarded the Best Comedy award off-screen earlier in the night, it shocked many at The A.V. Club. It also shocked director James Mangold, who mentioned the airtime snub when introducing Harrison Ford. Chelsea Handler, staking her claim as a true-blue awards show host, invited Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie on stage to accept their well-deserved win.

Look: We know that Kieran Culkin is the shortest member of the Succession cast. He’s not the eldest boy and he often sits in chairs in weird, uncomfortable ways. But that doesn’t mean we can just pluck the hairs from his ear. You hear that, Best Actress winner Sarah Snook?! Jesse Armstrong used to have a bouffant before this nonsense! A bouffant!

Beef continues to sweep awards shows, winning statues for Ali Wong, Steven Yuen, and creator Lee Sung Jin at tonight’s Critics Choice. But it was Lee Sung Jin’s acceptance speech for Best Limited Series that brought it all home with two words: Baja Fresh. Apparently, he used to show up to these awards smelling like the stuff, and in their infinite grace and forgiveness, they still invited him back to collect his win.

In The Holdovers, Paul Giamatti plays a character who smells like fish. In reality, he is a man who “went viral for eating a cheeseburger.” Picking up his Best Actor win for his magnificent performance in The Holdovers, Giamatti let his food gripes take center stage for a moment. First, referencing the world’s fascination with Giamatti eating a burger after sitting through the Golden Globes, and also that the Critics Choice Awards served him “pizza in a bag.” The rest of his speech will make you tear up, but it’s Giamatti’s antagonistic relationship with food that’s going to make us cry.

It’s nice to see an awards show go off without a hitch. Despite some programming sacrifices that every awards show ultimately has to make, The Critics Choice Awards was a fleet-footed, breezy, three-hour ceremony. Part of that is Chelsea Handler, working the crowd with confidence. We didn’t miss the awkward roasts, either.

Accepting his award for Best Director, Christopher Nolan made a point to thank Martin Sherwin, a co-author of the book’s source material, American Prometheus, Martin Sherwin. Unfortunately, he also made a couple of assumptions about The CW, which we don’t think is fair to those who stood by Riverdale for all those years. Pulitzer Prize-winning historians watch The CW, too, Mr. Nolan. Well, we assume they do.

We’re not going to lie. We just wanted to see Ryan Gosling’s confused and slightly terrified reaction to “I’m Just Ken” winning Best Song. If every award show had a meme this immediately good, maybe the world would be a warmer, gentler place.