The first X-Men movie came out in mid-July with little hype, and since it did better than expected both critically and commercially, X2 got a more prime piece of release date real estate, kicking off the summer movie season in early May. The second movie did even better–at the box office and with superhero movie fans–so now the third one, X-Men: The Last Stand, gets the choicest date on the summer movie calendar, Memorial Day weekend. Some claim that release dates don't matter like they used to, but a 100 million dollar opening weekend doesn't lie. It's a simple equation: People looking for something to do + A movie people are genuinely interested in seeing = Money money money.
I'll be honest: X-Men: The Last Stand is one of the few movies I've had circled on my inner summer blockbuster calendar. I'm no great Bret Ratner fan, but I'm a comic book geek and I've liked this franchise so far, so I was counting on Ratner's baseline competence with action sequences to compensate for his lack of style or vision. And to an extent, Ratner delivers. The big climactic mutant-a-mutant clash at Alcatraz has a real sense of sweep and drama, and the opening action sequence had me gasping in awe, if only because it hit so many X-Men fanboy buttons: The Danger Room! Sentinels! A "Fastball Special!"
It's what happens between those two action sequences that makes X3 kind of a mixed bag (even though it's really the first blockbuster this summer to feel like a blockbuster, and not an overblown plugger). First off, as has been mentioned in almost every review, the huge cast throws the storytelling out of whack, making a good third of the movie play like an extended DVD extra. (Should've-Been-Deleted Scene #4: "Bobby comforts Kitty.") There's too many people we're supposed to care about, and the ones we end up spending the most time with are the ones played by actors likely to raise a stink if their lines get cut. It's an unexpectedly Storm-centric movie, is what I'm saying. And Wolverine-centric too, but while that's not as unexpected, at least one major plot twist seems designed exclusively to clear more space for the kid with the claws.
Ratner doesn't exactly control his actors or his pace, either. There's a lot of popped-vein scenery-chewing going on, and a lot of moments where the music swells dramatically, only to fade into another scene where people stand around and talk. The best blockbuster action movies build steadily, cutting between their different arenas before hitting a mass crescendo at the end. X3 peaks, troughs, and peaks again. (With a final peak after the closing credits, though I'd guessed what the surprise was going to be long before it rolled around.)
All that jibber-jabber isn't exactly meaningless. The movie tries to say something about the ethics of tampering with people's essential natures, though by the end, the ethical dilemma of whether it's okay to "cure" mutants has been overruled by the need to stop the bad guys–which may in itself be the point of the piece. And there are some highlights along the way, including a charming performance by Kelsey Grammar as The Beast, who made me chuckle every time he walked across the screen with that goofy blue make-up and familiar patrician accent. (He even delivers The Beast's signature line from the comics: "Oh my stars and garters.")
But there are some lowlights too, including a too-frequent use of the word "bitch," and a tone that's more sexed-up and violent than it has to be. And was there any reason to shoehorn (and throw away) the classic "Dark Phoenix" plot into a movie too overstuffed to deal with it properly?
So we're left with the usual questions when dealing with a less-than-seamless summer blockbuster. Do we clap the filmmakers on the back for making an action-adventure with flashes of thematic ambition and a few bravura set pieces? Or do we take them to task for making so many obvious mistakes? How hard is it, really, to get this shit right from start to finish?
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This week's trailers-in-brief: Superman Returns gets yet another new trailer, this one Luthor-centric. (The buzz seems to be turning more positive on this movie, which is cool, since I've been impressed by the trailers.) Also, a well-designed trailer for the nope-I'm-still-not-interested-in-seeing-it My Super Ex-Girlfriend. (I liked the way they held back the premise for so long, but this still looks painfully unfunny.) Also also, the same old trailer for Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, which looks like a big hit to me. (So many recent action movies are so grim that I think audiences will line up for another round of Johnny Depp playing the charming anti-hero, and making it safe for them to enjoy themselves.) Finally, Ghost Rider which looks pretty bad ass, but man did they ever have some weird ideas for comic books in the '70s.
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Next week: The Break-Up!