Vision of A24 cultural dominance outlined in mock-up A24 Land theme park

A24, despite being a company that, like all companies, exists in order to generate profits, has developed an aura of artistic credibility to it over its decade-long existence. Spotting its logo at the front of a trailer makes certain people automatically want to see the movie it’s produced and/or distributed. Hearing that a new horror movie was created with its assistance is enough to make viewers supposedly uninterested in genre films decide that maybe, at last, scary stories are “elevated” enough to warrant their attention. Props from its movies can command high prices at auction.

A24, in short, has a lot of influence in modern pop culture. In order to solidify its power, however, A24 knows it still needs something more. It needs a bigger, physical presence in the world. It needs a full-on Disneyland-style A24 amusement park.

A24 Land doesn’t actually exist, but the concept may now be explored online thanks to a website with illustrations by Cristina Spanò. The site introduces itself by asking users to imagine what Disneyland would be like “if you applied the same formula to a studio with a bit more grit.”

The page lets visitors click around on a map of the park’s grounds, exploring various attractions pulled from the company’s filmography. There’s the “May Queen’s Twisted Maypole,” which honors Midsommar by inviting people to enjoy “June in the land of the midnight sun” while “village elders … [drop] like flies.”

There’s an Everything Everywhere All At Once-inspired ride called “Evelyn’s Wash & Go,” where people are taken on “a spin cycle through the multiverse with the Wangs.”

There’s also “Winslow & Wake’s Wild Ride,” which turns The Lighthouse into a water ride with a “plunge down a 180 proof river,” and many other attractions based on other A24 movies.

Unfortunately for the company, it should know that even constructing this hypothetical A24 Land isn’t enough for it to truly measure up to the real dread emperor of pop culture. To accomplish that, it must also eat up a whole bunch of other film companies and set up special A24 communities where residents can live within its embrace forevermore.

In the meantime, check out more of A24 Land by packing up the kids and driving the station wagon on down to this link.

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