From deep within the subterranean hideaway of ruthless supervillain/president of ABC Entertainment Group Paul Lee, a decree: The American public must wait three more months to get Muppets on their TV. In a ploy to swing felt, foam, and pork futures—thus creating the economic distraction necessary for Lee’s next grasp at global domination—The Muppets will debut near the end of the fiscal year, Tuesday, September 22 at 8 p.m. Other 2015-16 ABC premieres will follow in short order, with Blood & Oil and Quantico bowing after Once Upon A Time on Sunday, September 27, and Dr. Ken joining the Friday night lineup on October 2. The L.A.-set anthology drama Wicked City begins Tuesday, October 27, when the Shark Tank spin-off Beyond The Tank is taken offline. (Because even evil masterminds have to schedule routine Shark Tank maintenance.)
The complete list of ABC fall premieres follows, along with some vintage Muppet mayhem to tide you over in these trying times. (New series in bold.)
Friday, September 11
10 p.m.: 20/20
Monday, September 14
8 p.m.: Dancing With The Stars
Monday, Septmeber 21
10 p.m.: Castle
Tuesday, September 22
8 p.m.: The Muppets
8:30 p.m.: Fresh Off The Boat
9 p.m.: Dancing With The Stars: The Reults
Wednesday, September 23
8 p.m.: The Middle
8:30 p.m.: The Goldbergs
9 p.m.: Modern Family
9:30 p.m.: Black-ish
10 p.m.: Nashville
Thursday, September 24
8 p.m.: Grey’s Anatomy
9 p.m.: Scandal
10 p.m.: How To Get Away With Murder
Friday, September 25
8 p.m.: Last Man Standing
9 p.m.: Shark Tank
Sunday, September 27
8 p.m.: Once Upon A Time
9 p.m.: Blood & Oil
10 p.m.: Quantico
Tuesday, September 29
9 p.m.: Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.
10 p.m.: Beyond The Tank
Friday, October 2
8:30 p.m.: Dr. Ken
Sunday, October 11
7 p.m.: America’s Funniest Home Videos
Tuesday, October 27
10 p.m.: Wicked City