Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. returns, bringing with it all the unnecessary periods
Here’s what up in the world of TV for Tuesday, March 3. All times are Eastern.
Top pick
Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 9 p.m.): With Agent Carter wrapping up its limited engagement, the flagship S.H.I.E.L.D.-related TV show returns to tell us what’s going on in the present-day incarnation of S.H.I.E.L.D. You know, just really delve into all things S.H.I.E.L.D. Like, is team unity at risk again? (Yep.) Or, is there maybe another traitor within S.H.I.E.L.D.? (Yuuup.) Is Oliver Sava amazed that we actually typed out all those damn periods in S.H.I.E.L.D. without once thinking to copy and paste? (You bet your S.H.I.E.L.D.-loving butt he is.)
The people’s top pick, now and forever
Person Of Interest (CBS, 10 p.m.): … is a rerun this week! The show appears to be airing biweekly—or is that semiweekly? No, no, biweekly—for the next month, with new episodes set for March 10 and March 24. In the meantime, and just glancing at the last word of this section heading and going from there … we dunno, have you checked out Forever? It’s on at the same time, and it might be okay, maybe.
Also noted
Fresh Off The Boat (ABC, 8 p.m.): It tells you everything you need to know about the kind of incorrigible history nerd we are that we read the episode’s description—“Vandals cause trouble for the Huangs”—and took a solid 10 seconds to realize they probably aren’t talking about the barbarian tribe. Dan Caffrey is still holding out hope for a sacking of Rome subplot, if he’s being completely honest.
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.): Coach is hesitant to bring his classy new girlfriend home because he doesn’t want her to meet Nick or Winston. Yeah … that sounds about right. But Coach shouldn’t hesitate to introduce her to our own Erik Adams. Nothing says classy like the first whiff of autumn!
Justified (FX, 10 p.m.): Raylan has a go at playing stay-at-home dad when Winona visits with his baby daughter, while Boyd and Ava go hunting. Alasdair Wilkins is really worried that they’re going hunting in much the same way Al Neri and Fredo Corleone went fishing, or George Milton and Lennie Small went, uh, rabbit-looking.
Regular coverage
The Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30 p.m.)
Kroll Show (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.)
What else is on?
Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, 8 p.m.): The 14th—14th!—season begins as Gordon Ramsay has two teams of chefs compete to win a night out with William Shatner, which is probably going to be just a little weird to watch, all things considered.
King Of The Hill (Cartoon Network, 8 p.m.): Tonight’s first rerun is a pivotal early entry in the show’s one big long-running story arc, as Peggy finally learns the terrible truth about Nancy Gribble and John Redcorn. And stick around for the 8:30 episode, in which Dale takes up bounty hunting and meets a William H. Macy-voiced bounty.
Obsession: Dark Desires (ID, 9 p.m.): Let’s take a look at the sure-to-be disturbing synopsis of one of ID’s lurid Tuesday-night true-crime offerings: “An ex-client tries to win the affections of her former lawyer.” Hey, that doesn’t sound awful at all. Oh man: Something that innocuous-sounding is going to end up being the worst shit ever, isn’t it? The episode is titled “Multiple Personalities,” if that helps you arrive at a conclusion.
Chicago Fire (NBC, 10 p.m.): “The interim chief makes a tactical error during an apartment fire, stirring up tensions and putting careers in jeopardy.” Yep, that sounds like what we saw in the promo they played during the Parks And Recreation finale. And, dammit, we just made ourselves sad again.
A View To A Kill (Encore, 8 p.m.): Is this the worst James Bond movie? You’d think the presence of Christopher Walken as a Nazi genetic experiment turned early Silicon Valley tycoon would be enough to make this movie more palatable than some of the other dregs of the Roger Moore era, but our recollection is that this was not good Christopher Walken. That said, Die Another Day is still a movie that exists, so maybe there are worse out there.
Demolition Man (Encore, 10:15 p.m.): Don’t even change the channel, because this movie is a tour de force of delightfully dumb science fiction pseudo-satire. It also has not one, not two, but three Best Actor and Actress nominees in its main four roles with Sylvester Stallone (Rocky), Nigel Hawthorne (The Madness Of King George, not to mention the general brilliance of Sir Humphrey Appleby), and Sandra Bullock, who won for The Blind Side. And let’s not pretend for one damn minute that fourth lead Wesley Snipes didn’t deserve all the damn Oscars for Blade.
College Basketball: Kentucky at Georgia (ESPN, 9 p.m.): The Wildcats are two wins away from the first undefeated regular season from a power conference team since the 1976 Indiana Hoosiers. We realize that’s kind of heavily qualified—mid-major Wichita State went undefeated in the regular season and conference tournament just last year—but it would still be one hell of a feat, and the more Kentucky wins, the more those qualifiers drop away. Anyway, if anyone has a shot at the last-minute upset, we guess it’s Georgia, who play the Wildcats at home in Athens and managed to look feisty in a feisty 69-58 defeat a month ago in Kentucky.
In case you missed it
Better Call Saul: We thought all of the first season’s episodes were going to be single-word titles ending in “o,”—“Uno,” “Mijo,” “Nacho,” etc.—but here comes an episode called “Alpine Shepherd Boy.” Does it earn the right to break the naming format? Donna Bowman is on the scene.