It’s day four of Alex Jones’ custody trial in Austin, Texas, and we’re already getting around to the part where Jones blames the global elite for not being able to handle his shit anymore. Jones—who took the stand earlier today for cross-examination—swore under oath that he didn’t eat any chili before his testimony (seriously) before challenging the media’s definition of “performance art” and asserting that the content published on his website Infowars is “90 percent hard news.” Which 10 percent is utter bullshit, he failed to clarify. Jones also defended his lawyer’s claim that he’s playing a “character” by comparing himself to John Oliver (who does not play a character) and Stephen Colbert (who made no secret of playing a character), appearing visibly perturbed that Colbert had called him a fraud on The Late Show earlier this week. (Y’all know what to do.)
Then things got even more interesting, as the attorney representing Jones’ ex-wife began pressing Jones for details on his alcohol and drug use. Jones initially claimed he drinks, but hardly ever gets drunk; presented with a video of himself visibly intoxicated conducting interviews on inauguration day, Jones backtracked to say he doesn’t get drunk on the set of his show. Asked about his drug use, Jones admitted to smoking marijuana occasionally, “to monitor its strength, which is how law enforcement does it.” Jones then added, under oath, that he had determined that the weed these days is far too strong, a development he blamed on billionaire investor and major progressive political donor George Soros. Soros, Jones claimed, has “brain damaged a lot of people.”
So yeah, between that and the possibility that Jones violated a gag order by posting a video of himself on the way to court screaming about how he’s not a phony on Monday, everything is going great. Enjoy your 4/20, everyone, and if the bong hits just a little too hard, remember that it’s George Soros’ fault, not yours.