It’s time to auction off all of Alex Jones' InfoWars shit

As Donald Trump continues to make his cabinet appointments and Elon Musk celebrates his stupid DOGE department, it’s comforting to know that at least one of the guys who worked to unravel the fabric of our democracy is having a really crappy day. In a video posted to X (Twitter) today, Sandy Hook conspiracy theorist and billion dollar loser Alex Jones looked like he was literally blinking back tears as he announced that his disinformation empire, InfoWars, was finally closing its doors. 

“Wednesday afternoon, Infowars, the equipment, InfoWars.com, InfoWarsStore.com, and a whole bunch of other stuff, is at a federal bankruptcy auction, from the fake judgments and the rigged trials where I was found guilty beforehand, and they had literal show trials like out of the Soviet Union or Nazi Germany,” he said in the opening of his broadcast. Not enough karma for your morning? Apparently the auctioneers were literally in the studio tagging stuff for sale as he spoke. Ahh, beautiful schadenfreude; we’ve lost a lot in the past week, but they can never take that.

Now, Jones is insisting that “good guys say they’re gonna buy it,” but it’s unclear if that’s just a self-lie the soon-to-be-former host is telling himself to get through the day; he did amend his statement to: “Who knows if they’re really good guys once they buy it.” Because no one can ever be sure, Jones now needs something else from his supporters as they watch his empire collapse around him. Yeah, you guessed it: money. After a brief tangent about fighting for Trump, Jones proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes of what may be his last broadcast ever shilling sketchy supplements, t-shirts, pins, posters, and more. At least he went out doing what he loved most. 

So, the future of InfoWars remains uncertain. Daily Beast reports that Jones’ alleged “good guys” could take the form of anyone from Elon Musk to his enemies like liberal groups and anti-disinformation watchdogs, but the truth—the actual truth—is that we just don’t know. But hey, if the left really does want to create that “liberal Joe Rogan” people keep talking about, it sounds like there’s a lot of recording equipment up for sale!