All men must get food poisoning on the Game Of Thrones cruise

Once thought to be the height of luxury, cruises have slowly revealed themselves as the dangerous, unsanitary, diarrhea factories they really are over the past couple of years. But all that was just setting the mood for passengers to enter the dangerous (and no doubt diarrhea-plagued) medieval kingdom of Westeros on a Game Of Thrones-themed cruise.

Crystal Cruises has introduced “Enter the Game Of Thrones” as an optional shore excursion on its current cruises of the British Isles. The package includes a field trip to the 18th-century estate Castle Ward, which has doubled as Winterfell, Robb Stark’s encampment, and the Lannisters’ encampment over the years. Excursions also include a photo op with costumes from the show, as well as an archery lesson for all the budding Joffreys out there. Then passengers are ferried back onto their disease bucket for more karaoke and shrimp. If all that sounds like a good time, “Enter the Game of Thrones” will set you back $289 on top of your basic cruise fare. (Wildfire shots not included.)