Always reliable Charlie Sheen says he's in "discussions" to return to Two And A Half Men

Although Charlie Sheen’s traveling medicine show continues to traverse this great nation of ours, peddling the twin elixirs of moral superiority and things to tweet about to the suckers that sorely need it, he’s reportedly still considering a return to Two And A Half Men, a development that comes as some surprise to anyone who hasn’t actually listened to or read anything that Sheen has said in the past four months or so. But of course, saying he’d be willing to accept an insane amount of money on a weekly basis again is different from actually being offered that money, and now Sheen has taken that supposed detente one step further by claiming during a recent radio interview that “there’ve been discussions.” But of course, he was “asked not to divulge anything”—because if there’s one thing for which Charlie Sheen can be counted on, it’s discretion.

Anyway, there’s obviously been no confirmation from CBS or show creator Chuck Lorre that such “discussions” have ever taken place—and there likely won’t be so long as his lawsuit is still in arbitration—or much to differentiate this from the last few times Sheen has said that CBS has offered him his job back. However, while Sheen did take a couple of swipes at the network for withholding his syndication payments, it is notable that he’s become, overall, markedly more contrite, saying, “Had they told me at the end of Season 8 that that behavior wasn't going to be cool, I would have adjusted it.” So had all those suggestions of rehab, the condemnations from the network heads and producers, and other instances of “judging” from all of those people with ugly wives and ugly children and loser lives simply been couched in terms of how Sheen’s behavior was not “cool,” perhaps this whole imbroglio could have been avoided, and we’d all be living in some less-colorful alternate universe, relentlessly dogging Randy Quaid.