America finally embraces democracy, names Taylor Swift queen of the AMAs

By William Hughes | October 10, 2018 | 4:12am

Aux Features Music

Reminding us all that there’s nothing the American people love more than democracy, apple pie, and music videos where a perky blonde lady transforms into a robot anime princess, Taylor Swift has once again been judged the queen of American music by the American Music Awards. The populist answer to those pesky critical elitists who give out the Grammys every year, the AMAs are decided by popular vote, suggesting that people really have been listening to Swift’s calls for the embrace of suffrage, even if she did then have to use her Artist Of The Year platform to remind them that there may be better uses for the democratic process than flipping a middle finger to Post Malone.

“I just wanted to make a mention of the fact that this award and every single award given out tonight were voted on by the people,” Swift told the crowd. “And you know what else is voted on by the people—is the midterm elections on November 6th. Get out and vote. I love you guys.” And while we absolutely love this new pro-democracy look in Taylor’s wardrobe, it is kind of fun to imagine what other situations she might try to shoehorn her new love of political awareness into: “Have it your way? I will, Burger King—just like the American people can have it their way this November.” “I’m happy to claim this bingo, just the way the American people will claim self-determinism on November 6.” “I will drop the gun and reach for the sky, officer, just like America’s citizens can reach for the voting lever on…”