America puts aside all its differences to agree on Johnny Depp

Our nation may be bitterly fragmented along gender lines, generation gaps, and whether Lana Del Rey deserves scorn, but there is one thing we can apparently refrain from screaming at each other over: Johnny Depp is our favorite actor, his off-kilter performances briefly abating our desire to see our ideological enemies stuffed in a burlap sack and drowned. The distinction of America’s Favorite Actor has been awarded to Depp for his second straight year by the Harris Poll, which has measured the country’s feelings about movie stars since 1994 (when we’re pretty sure Richard Grieco came in first). And according to their findings, it doesn’t matter whether you’re Republican or Independent, liberal or conservative: You love Johnny Depp equally, no matter your feelings on whether he should have universal healthcare. Unless you’re a self-described Democrat or Moderate, in which case you prefer Denzel Washington and probably even saw that train movie.

Elsewhere, Depp is tops with women, while men rank him behind their No. 1 choice Clint Eastwood, because they don’t want to seem as though they like him like him—similar to how Depp beats out Eastwood in every region except the South. And he ranks first in all age groups save those over 66, as they prefer the soothing, salt-and-pepper gravitas of George Clooney, who, unlike Depp, doesn’t wear so many confusing accessories. That “Mature” vote no doubt has helped John Wayne have such staying power, with Wayne coming in this year at fifth place and remaining the only actor to have hung in there since the poll began. And while Wayne has managed to be one of America’s Top 10 actors despite being dead for over 30 years, two other people who actually made movies in 2011, Angelina Jolie and Julia Roberts, found themselves dropped off the list entirely for their troubles. Their ill-advised decision to continue being productive has made room for Will Smith and a debuting Adam Sandler, the latter of which has finally bludgeoned his way into the mainstream public consciousness, apparently.

Anyway, here are the 10 actors which most Americans agree on, even if they can’t agree on anything else:

1. Johnny Depp
2 and 3. Denzel Washington/Clint Eastwood (tie)
4. Tom Hanks
5. John Wayne
6. George Clooney
7. Sandra Bullock
8. Harrison Ford
9. Will Smith
10. Adam Sandler

If only Garry Marshall could get them all to celebrate a holiday together, it would be the most successful movie ever made.

 
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