American Apparel Just Fucking With Us Now (and Forever)

Almost two thousand years ago around this date, Mount Vesuvius erupted, killing thousands, and burying the city of Pompeii in mountains of volcanic ash which ended up preserving objects, buildings, and even people for centuries. When uncovered, these artifacts gave archeologists a snapshot of what life in Pompeii was like at the time of the eruption: What people wore, what the city looked like, etc. If a similar volcanic eruption were to happen all over the US today—if lava and ash and pumice stone relentlessly rained down from the sky for days, filling the streets, burying the stores, smothering the life of our cities like a great grey pillow—centuries later, someone would dig through the layers of natural concrete and rubble and try to make sense of what life was like in our cities. And if they dug their way into a preserved American Apparel store, and found a sign that said "Bag O' Scraps—$8" they'd think we were all really, really stupid.  Of course, they'd be right.

(via Buzzfeed)

Just when you thought American Apparel's unofficial "Will people actually wear this idiocy?" motto couldn't push the clothing standards any lower—after all, where do you go after reviving Hypercolor, and scrunchies, and something called "Italian bow ties"?—they're selling their left over cheap fabric scraps for $8.

But what will you do with these scraps, besides yell at them for being so totally useless? The possibilities are endless!

We've collected cuttings from some of your favorite fun fabrics from around the American Apparel factory to make one-of-a-kind bags of scrap fabrics. Use them for all sorts of arts and crafts. Make clever jewelry, accessories, a card for your grandma or a colorful hanging sculpture for your apartment. Each bag comes with a zine (printed on scrap paper, of course) with five fun and easy scrap projects, complete with how-to instructions.

Cry on them!  Dress up your houseplants with them! Take them to the park and throw them in the fountain instead of pennies! Stuff them in your mouth to stop the screaming!

But mostly, Bag O' Scraps are the ultimate conversation starter. Sample conversation:

You: "Check out my Bag O'Scraps!"

Other person: "No."

Silly American Apparel. Don't they know that hipsters will only buy Rags In A Box, not scraps in a bag, for all their colorful apartment sculpture needs? It's more ironic or something that way.

 
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