American Dream Builders build American dreams

TOP PICK

American Dream Builders (NBC, 8 p.m.): AMERICAN DREAM BUILDERS! / BUILDING THE DREAM TO BUILD AMERICAN DREAMS IN AMERICA! No this isn’t the actual theme song to the new home-improvement series, but if host Nate Berkus truly wanted to motivate the competing renovators, it would be. It would’ve inspired more than a tepid response to the show from The A.V. Club’s own Sonia Saraiya, too.

Bob’s Burgers (Fox, 7 p.m.): Unfortunately, this episode in which Teddy watches the kids while Bob and Linda are out of town isn’t called “Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Ted.” It’s just as well, because we wouldn’t want Pilot Viruet thinking that she has to watch and review a Bob’s Burgers crossover with the Seth McFarlane universe.

Once Upon A Time (ABC, 8 p.m.): The show’s moving target of villainy has landed on the Wicked Witch Of The West, which has Gwen Ihnat constantly singing “Defying Gravity” to herself, just like America’s sweetheart, Adele Dazeem.

Girls (HBO, 10 p.m.): It’s opening night of Major Barbara, so Todd VanDerWerff has had his opening-night tuxedo cleaned and pressed. Of course, it’s also the last Girls episode of 2014, so Todd also needs to run to the dry cleaner to pick up his season-finale mourning suit.

American Dad (Fox, 7:30 p.m.)
The Simpsons (Fox, 8 p.m.)
Family Guy (Fox, 8:30 p.m.)
The Walking Dead (AMC, 9 p.m.)
The Good Wife (CBS, 9 p.m.)
Shameless (Showtime, 9 p.m.)
Revenge (ABC, 10:01 p.m.)

Doctor Who (11 a.m.): The Daleks take Manhattan, which, unlike Muppets Take Manhattan, features fewer scenes of adorable critters tooling around a kitchen. Though, if any New York greasy spoons are looking to EXTERMINATE! their rat problems, Alasdair Wilkins knows of a tyrannical alien race that can help.

The Simpsons (Classic): We’re starting something new with classic Simpsons reviews, as a rotating cast of TV Club writers alternates episodes with Erik Adams. This week, Dennis Perkins receives the A.V. Club form of worker’s comp: After enduring the damage of the show’s so-so 25th season, Dennis registers his thoughts on “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming.”

Ron White’s Comedy Salute To The Troops 2014 (CMT, 9 p.m.): White’s greatest gift to the nation’s servicemen and women: Not bringing Larry The Cable Guy along on the trip.

Drop Dead Diva (Lifetime, 9 p.m.): The final season begins, transforming the show’s title from a descriptor—Drop Dead Diva—to an instruction—Drop Dead, Diva.

Monsters, Inc. (ABC Family, 7 p.m.): When What’s On Tonight saw Muppets Most Wanted, the projectionist had to restart the movie partway through the opening number—subjecting the audience to the Monsters University short “Party Central” for the second time in 10 minutes. With all of the visual gags and punchlines fresh in everyone’s mind, the theater sat silent through all the co-ed monster mayhem. It was a uniquely strange experience. With any luck, re-watching Monsters, Inc. on basic cable will be less awkward.

Message In A Bottle (TVGN, 7 p.m.): Kevin Costner is sending out an SOS. He’s sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS. Sending out an SOS.

NHL Hockey: Wild at Red Wings (NBC Sports, 7:30 p.m.): The Red Wings can’t afford any losses in the race for the Stanley Cup Playoffs—maybe the Wild, who are pretty much a cinch for either seventh or eighth place in the Western Conference, could spare the win?

It’s a day of epic stories drawing on iconography from centuries of world religions—but enough about Carrie Raisler’s long take on Teen Wolf’s third season. On the Judeo-Christian side of things, Genevieve Valentine remembers the Biblically inspired Kings for One Season Wonders, Weirdos, And Wannabes, and Phil Dyess-Nugent offers praise to the new PBS documentary, The Story Of The Jews.

Raising Hope: Phil Dyess-Nugent attends a Natesville seance—the type of ceremony that, thanks to syndicated reruns, he won’t have to conduct in order to visit with the Chances after Raising Hope ends its run in a few episodes.

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