Sweet lord, it's the season of the hipsters, isn't it? Oh dear: I might have problems with this. Now, I'm not anti-hipster. In fact, I was recently informed actually that that word doesn't really have any meaning and that I should stop using it, but for the sake of this piece, that's the term I'm going to use when referring to young attractive people who dress a certain way for effect. Tight jeans and retro sneakers, ironic nerd glasses, knit caps and scarves indoors, plaid shirts, vests. You know, that's fine, but how can you stand out from your peers, especially as a passionate singular artist, when you've all cultivated the same look that says "Ehh, I don't care. I mean, I do, but in a way you probably wouldn't get."
But it's much less fun to judge people on Idol by the way they dress than the way they behave, and team night is a great night for that. All these little jerks come out of the experience waving their fingers saying "I do not sing in groups," which surely will bode well for the future when it comes to working with a band or backup singers.
The battle royale of divas was between the groups "Destiny's Wild" and "Phoenix," both of whom were singing Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." They practiced next to each other, trying to annoy each other ("But Claire," surely you are saying. "How can two groups of people singing Lady Gaga a cappella loudly possibly be annoying?") Destiny's Wild was mad at Neapolitan when it came time for the performances, because Destiny's Wild invented the idea of singing without accompaniment and Neapolitan STOLE IT. Simon liked Neapolitan's effort and while Ellen thought Destiny's Wild performance was "weird," they too also went through, which I didn't understand. Destiny's Wild tried way too hard to be a Lady Gaga video, with the claw hands and whatnot, than to actually sing it well.
I thought in general the judges were more generous than I would have been. Charity Vance (who I got called out on on another blog for randomly picking on, so I assert here I am just judging her singing) and her group seemed to lack energy, but her whole crew went through. I also really couldn't believe Mary Powers, who was behaving like a battleaxe the entire time, went through after her almost unprofessional start to the song (she laughed in frustration), and Alex Lambert, who seemed like he was a second away from quitting, also got put through.
In general the episode wasn't the bloodbath it usually is. A lot of people messed up the lyrics to "Sweet Escape," but Simon was relatively nice to everyone it seemed, except for the girl Moorea who talked back to Kara about what a hard time they all had and Simon told her to shut her yap about only having 12 hours to learn a song. A baby was even born, with the father, Michael Lynche, following along on his iPhone. It was a little strange, but very sweet.
Next week we discover our top 24 and I'm curious to see who from that crowd stands out. At this point last season we, for better or for worse, already knew who Norman Gentle and Tatiana del Toro were, so I'm curious to see who will stand apart not just for singing nice but being, you know, a freak of nature as well.
Stray observations:
—If that guy Jeff Goldford is 28, then I'm 18. (Note: I am actually 30 which is what makes this comment so terribly cutting).
—That's really all I have so here are some pictures of Kara DioGuardi in a bikini. Sorry/you're welcome.