And God so loved History Channel's The Bible that He decided it should also be a movie

Emboldened by his most successful creation since VeggieTales and the peacock, executive producer God is currently prepping a theatrical version of His popular History Channel miniseries The Bible, once again calling upon His earthly messenger, Mark Burnett. “It’s a God voice. It’s clearly a calling,” Burnett tells The Hollywood Reporter of the Almighty’s plan, which began with creating the heavens and the Earth before sacrificing His only son, so that some 13.1 million viewers would bear witness to His basic-cable glory. Now God has called upon Burnett to cut a feature-length movie out of their miniseries, so that His word can be seen in theaters worldwide for a small tithing, not including snacks.

Burnett says he, wife and co-producer Roma Downey, and God are currently working on “a three-hour version of Jesus and [we have] many, many offers from theaters globally” to pick it up in the fall. Said film will, naturally, “have a big focus on the Resurrection,” which many fans believe to be the best part of the Jesus story. And it doesn’t stop there: God has already bestowed upon Burnett several scripts “for what’s next,” with Burnett saying they could possibly continue The Bible with more stories set “in the same world.” Which is to say, the world.