And Just Like That... recap: Behold, the MILF List

I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me. This episode was kind of okay! A Carrie voiceover project? Shoe shopping? Sexual innuendo over lunch? A MILF LIST?! Episode three kind of felt like the Sex And The City of yore. And by that, I mean still totally batshit crazy.

We kick things off with Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) running into Lisette (Katerina Tannenbaum), her young, cool downstairs neighbor who is a jewelry designer. She has curly hair so that we know she is meant to be a callback to younger Carrie. Lisette is hosting a jewelry show later in the week for department store buyers, but she’s excited that Carrie is coming. Carrie can’t stay for a coffee because she’s on the way to record her the audiobook for her memoir about becoming a widow.

It’s kind of hilarious to watch Carrie struggle with this (they keep accusing her of popping her P’s and swallowing her T’s) considering that Sarah Jessica Parker provided voiceover on the original series. Even hearing her voice reading diegetically in this scene makes me wish And Just Like That… was bolstered by the connective thread the narration used to provide. Of course, it’s deeply painful for her to read that chapter that details Big’s death, and she balks at the news that she’ll be in the recording studio for five days.

Over at the fancy private school, Lisa (Nicole Ari Parker) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) are attending the PTO meeting when the principal shares the titillating information that the students have been circulating a MILF list. Naturally, they need to get their hands on it to see where they rank. It’s sent to Lisa while they’re attending brunch with Carrie and Nya (Karen Pittman), whom Miranda connected with Lisa to be interviewed for her documentary. Yes! Bring the characters together! “We’re No. 2 and 3!” Lisa gushes to Charlotte, who is thrilled. “Our lunchtime fodder is not usually this lowbrow,” Charlotte apologizes to Nya, although Carrie immediately laughs that off. Obsessing about a MILF list is exactly what I want from these characters in their 50s. I can just hear Samantha’s take from an alternate universe. (“Honey, I may not be a mother, but I am Mother.”)

Over in L.A.—and honestly, I hate to type that almost as much as I hate when the show cuts to it—Che (Sara Ramirez) and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) are running lines ahead of this week’s taping. There is a big emotional scene where Che is talking to their dad about being nonbinary, and they are supposed to cry. Miranda prompts them to practice, but they are clearly irked by the writing, not wanting to cry about being nonbinary because it’s not a tragedy. Miranda is sympathetic and, once again, having phone issues. She keeps missing notifications and is worried Brady (Niall Cunningham) has been ghosting her during his Europe trip. Che says to not overthink it.

After another tough session in the recording session, Carrie runs into old SATC standby Bitsy von Muffling (Julie Halston), who tells her that the second year as a widow is actually harder. “You do whatever you do to make yourself feel better,” she advises. Cut to Carrie kicking open her apartment door with eight bags of shoes from Bergdorf’s. She calls her agent and makes up the lie that she has COVID so they’ll have to find an actress to do the audiobook.

Miranda calls to tell Carrie she’s thinking about getting a tattoo (of a robot?) to remind herself of who she is at this moment so she doesn’t slide back into the person she was. “Miranda? It’s time for you to come back to New York,” says Carrie, speaking for all of us. “No! It’s like pretend life, I never want it to end!” Miranda responds, sounding genuinely insane. This woman was a partner in a law firm. Miranda always knew herself. You want to cut back your hours and achieve some work-life balance, fine! But this is reading like she had a lobotomy. Before they hang up, Carrie shares the lie that she has COVID (apparently she’s never had it!) instead of coming clean on her grief, and soon the lie spreads to Charlotte and the rest of the group. Oops.

There is a very creepy scene in which the moms at school are gossiping about the MILF list and then the writer of said list—Milo H.—comes out of the principal’s office in a slo-mo walk and one of the moms actually growls at him? At another PTO meeting (how often are these?), the principal shares that the infraction will become a permanent part of the boy’s college records, to which Charlotte and Lisa protest. “Wouldn’t this be an opportunity to demonstrate our commitment to restorative justice?” The other moms aren’t buying it—they’re just forgiving because they’re two and three on the list. Kristin Davis and Nicole Ari Parker deliver a perfect, “Are we?” in unison.

Then comes the big emotional punch of the episode. As she’s in line to enter Che’s taping, Miranda finally gets a call from Brady, who hysterically says he’s been trying to reach her for days. His girlfriend dumped him and when a car almost hits him, he says he wishes it would have, completely terrifying Miranda. “Did you talk to Dad?” she asks. “Yeah, but I really wanted you!” Miranda tells Brady to get to his hostel and call her from there. Naturally, when she gets to the front of the line, she’s supposed to surrender her phone for the taping. Instead of making a decision of what to prioritize in that moment, she lies and says she doesn’t have a phone. Oh, I wonder how this will end!

Che and Tony Danza are doing the big emotional scene during which Che is supposed to cry. They’re nailing it, the audience is moved, and then…Miranda’s phone goes off. People freak out. The creator of the show yells, “You just ruined our big moment and we’re never going to be able to get back there because Che is not an actor, they’re a stand-up!” Way harsh, Tai.

Miranda takes the call and then phones Charlotte to gut check what happened and if she’s overreacting to Brady’s distress. She’s getting on a plane back to New York to meet Brady at the airport. Charlotte tells her not to worry about Che. “You are doing the right thing. There is nothing more important.” It feels a little too late, but finally Miranda is experiencing some consequences for blowing up her life. She totally checked out of being a mother, and now it’s biting her in the ass. She sort of makes up with Che before leaving, but they can’t believe she’s reacting so strongly to a teenage break-up. “You ruined the family scene!” Che explodes. “Okay, well, I had my own family scene and it was real,” Miranda defends herself. Imagine that—real life trumping pretend life.

Carrie takes Seema (Sarita Choudhury) to Lisette’s jewelry show, but a thief shows up and just stuffs all the jewelry in his pockets and runs away. Lisette is devastated that all her work is gone, just like that, and Carrie grieves with her, saying she knows how it feels. They both have to start over. Carries gets more time in the recording studio and finishes her memoir, a triumphant moment. But not as triumphant as the genuinely funny closing moment, where Carrie and Seema flirt with some visiting Australians at a communal restaurant table. “And just like that…I got COVID.” Take note, Che: This is a good joke.

Stray observations

• Seema’s whole plotline this episode is… a mugger steals her Birkin bag? She agonizes over replacing it for $28,000. (I knew those things were expensive, but oh my god.) She keeps making comments about the crime in New York. Then in the end, she just finds the empty bag in the bushes outside her house. What was the point of this?
• The joke of the sound guy having terrible BO as he adjusts Carrie’s mic…why?
• My petty issue with this episode is the timeline. Brady is backpacking through Europe for the summer. Miranda is in L.A. for the summer. Why are Charlotte and Lisa’s kids in school? Where are we in the calendar year?!