Profane
Brooklyn-born comic Andrew Dice Clay—born Andrew Clay Silverstein—is
as raunchy today as he was when he was banned from MTV in 1989 and played two
consecutive sold-out shows at Madison Square Garden in 1991. After withdrawing
from the limelight for a couple of years, the Diceman has been steadily clawing
his way back: Last year he launched the VH1 reality series/publicity blitz Dice:
Undisputed,
chronicling his attempts to revive his comedy career. But he largely catapulted
himself back with his impromptu riffing of new material when he appeared as a
presenter at this year's Pollstar Awards. Though his publicist warned, "Dice is
not the kind of guy that works… far ahead in terms of scheduling interviews," The
A.V. Club
wrangled some time out of his busy schedule to talk about what he and Andy
Kaufman have in common, his take on the Sopranos finale, and why Carson
Daly is so cool.
The
A.V. Club: Why aren't you wearing the leather any more?
Andrew
Dice Clay: I
do wear the leather; it's just that I'm not restricting myself to a motorcycle
jacket any more. It's time to change and expand on the theme. That's why on
different talk shows, you see me in the pinstripe gangster suit or the leather
blazer like you might see in the movies Goodfellas or Donnie Brasco.
AVC:
You've said the pinstripe suit is "more Sopranos, less street thug."
ADC: It's
still a mix.
AVC:
What did you think of the Sopranos ending?
ADC: I liked
it. I like when something makes you think after you stop watching. It's a TV
show, but we're all so invested in it. You walk around and go, "What do you
think really happened?"
Even though I know they just said "Cut!"
AVC:
You don't have a theory?
ADC: Nothing
happened. He just continues, because they won't try to take him out like that.
Not with his wife and kids there.
AVC:
Why does that image appeal to you?
ADC: Rebelliousness.
That's not my lifestyle, but I'm definitely not a 9-to-5 guy. I didn't get to
sleep this morning 'til 5. I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on
material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I
like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the
street at night.
AVC:
With your new material, you're claiming to be more honest than your previous
cartoonish persona.
ADC: It's
almost like the Dice of the '90s. Even if you watch the first season of The
Sopranos,
they were learning their part. They were establishing. They were first
learning. You watch the last season, and it just seems like who they are. What
you're seeing, they get to really throw their personalities into. Onstage
today, I'm more myself personality-wise than ever before.
AVC:
Did you ever go too far with the persona?
ADC: I'm not
talking about the material; I'm talking about how I performed. The material was
the material then, and it is what it is today. I have no problem today letting
people know I'm part of what they live. That's why I know about the things that
make people the assholes they are. They have no choice but to be part of it. I
don't get up and look at e-mail. I don't even know my e-mail address. I needed
one just to have a computer put on. But I never, ever even thought of going to
it. It's just not what I'm about. I just don't want to waste my life with it.
It's just too much; I think people are just a little too absorbed in all of
that. You might need it in your life because of the way the world runs today. I
really don't need it in mine—I'm a dinosaur.
AVC:
Is that good or bad?
ADC: It's a
good thing for me. I don't mind the way I live. I like the way I live.
AVC:
On Last Call With Carson Daly, you did material about Siegfried and Roy and
jokes about cell phones. That's more honest?
ADC: Well,
yeah. I look at people and I see how hypocritical they are in their own lives.
Siegfried and Roy is probably the biggest show Vegas ever had of its kind. But
when that [tiger-mauling] incident happened, everybody couldn't believe it, and
my take was, "Why couldn't you believe that?" You're paying to see how
dangerous that is, so when it happens, you're shocked? Comedically, I know how
to make it funny. That's why I talk about things like that.
AVC:
Were you sincere when you told Carson Daly you're a fan of his show?
ADC: Yeah, I
like him. I think he's funny. He's a quirky guy. Those are the kinds of people
I hook into personally and comedically. Carson's like a new friend, so we
haven't really hung, but it's just funny the way he questions you. I always thought
he had a cool show. It is like last call. It's that vibe. He's got that Dean
Martin-type thing going on.
AVC:
How much depth does the Dice character have?
ADC: I just
think it keeps evolving. It's not about the character; it's about the material.
I think I answered your question when I told you what I've been doing onstage.
I know you have certain questions, but you keep coming back to the same
question. You've approached it three different ways, and I'm giving you the
same answer.
AVC:
Let's change gears, then. It seems like the Dice character is Andy
Kaufman-esque—it's more about the reactions than whether it's funny.
ADC: No, it's
nothing like that.
AVC:
What's it like, then?
ADC: Andy
would play characters like Saturday Night Live. Just characters. I'm
from Brooklyn, New York. Where do you think Dice was from? Andy did the foreign
guy. We know that wasn't him. Tony Clifton wasn't him. It's a different thing.
The one thing me and Kaufman have in common is complete commitment to what we
do as performers. That's what we have in common. We both do Elvis. I really
liked his Elvis.
AVC:
Who do you think your audience is now?
ADC: You know
what, I got everybody. From the MySpace generation to 60-year-olds. Whoever
still goes to concerts. It's amazing: I've seen so many fathers and sons, but
also mothers and daughters coming to see me.
AVC: How does that compare to before?
ADC: Different.
There was no MySpace generation when my career took off. They were babies. Now,
they're in their 20s and 30s.
AVC:
Speaking of which, you have a MySpace page, but based on what you said about
e-mail, it sounds like you aren't too involved with it.
ADC: Sometimes
I am. [That's] one thing I'll do. I'll answer certain fans. I'm not on that
often. I'm not a great typist, so I don't answer all of them. So I answer some
fans, some questions, or chicks with big tits.
AVC: Where in the landscape of offensive humor
today do you feel you fit in?
ADC: I'm a one
of a kind.
AVC:
No one comes close?
ADC: Definitely
not. To me, it's not even about the language.
AVC:
What's it about, then?
ADC: I think
shows like South Park got the chance because of somebody like myself. It's more
about the material, like it always has been. If there's foul language in it,
there's sexual talk in it, but it's not the whole act. So if I'm talking about
sex, I'll paint a picture for the audience in a comedic way. I think the comics
out there today, they stink. It's like they set out to be offensive and curse,
but on the surface, there's nothing going on. You look at them and you go,
"There's nothing happening here," and turn the channel.
AVC:
You've been making a lot of digs against today's comedians.
ADC: I think
girl comics are doing better than guy comics today. They're more exciting than
guy comics.
AVC: These days, people tend to say the
opposite.
ADC: Well, that went on for many years, and they
weren't. Years ago, I would bash them on print, on albums. They all had the
same rap on dating and "I want to be married." It was almost like begging
onstage for somebody to like them and marry them. They were just awful to look
at, just eyesores. If a girl isn't that great-looking, their material has to be
very strong. They just weren't.
But, you know, Sandra Bernhard: great comic. She was
great back then, too. But she didn't do jokes. She wouldn't complain about not
being [married]. She would entice a crowd. She was an A-1 performer. She was
one of a kind. There were a few. When Roseanne [Barr] hit the scene, she talked
about being married; she didn't talk about wanting to be married. She was
married. With kids. She had attitude, and it was funny. That was about it. Joan
Rivers, of course, always funny. You're talking about three out of who knows
how many. Today, they're better-looking and just cover everything the way a male comic would, should. They
cover all kinds of subject matter. That's a good thing. When someone's good, I
don't piss on it. If somebody sucks, then they'll always suck.
AVC: In the past, you've compared yourself to
Rocky Balboa. It seems like you and the Rocky movies share a similar
reputation, in that people pass judgment and think they're crappy before
actually having seen them.
ADC: Well, Rocky is like a historical
movie already—people just follow. Girls are learning to have sex from
watching these pornos that offend me on the Internet. They just put the most dirty,
filthiest things, the most deviant things, on the Internet. They're not
learning to have sex from doing it. They're doing, "Oh, so that's what you do? Let me spit
at his cock now for a while." I mean, please. I've been around for a
while. And if we cut back 15 years ago, nobody was spitting at my dick. It's
the funniest thing in the world, and they're all just doing it. I've seen it,
and you almost want to go, "Do you know her? Do you know this girl? Do you guys
talk? Why are you spitting on my balls?" It's laughable.
AVC: Was your Pollstar Awards set staged?
ADC: I wanted
to perform, but they told me not to. You gamble when you do something like
that. The entire personal-appearance industry was there. There's a lot they can
do to upset the performance if they want. Obviously, they didn't. It was a real
career move on my part, because now the bookings are ridiculously good. Of
course, the entire industry was there. I just wanted to show I'm fresh, I'm
back, I'm current.
Being onstage and performing, the high of that,
and people coming to see you, and getting to make them laugh—that's what
gets me hyped up. It's a nervous excitement. Interviews can go either way.
Sometimes I just hang up on them. If I'm bored, they're talking to an empty
line.
AVC:
Are you bored now?
ADC: No.
You're pretty good, and I'll give you one more question, then I got to go. If
you saw who was coming over, you'd hang up too. Can't fucking believe this. It's not
even nighttime. Girl calls up, she's a 10-and-a-half, forget about a 10. "Can I
come over now?" This gorgeous redhead, over six feet tall, an hourglass figure,
these big fucking tits, and an ass like a basketball. She'll be making me
lunch.
Gorgeous redhead, and she actually runs a bank! I'm not into strippers
and hookers. I never was my whole life. I like real girls. When they're in bed
with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that. This girl runs a bank in
Hollywood. I walk in, and I'm like, "How come there's not a pole in the middle
of the bank?" Intelligent, smart, that's the turn-on, not just some dummy with
big tits. I like a smart girl. Anyway, I got to go. I got to get ready for her.
I got to get coffee going or something.
AVC:
Sounds like you'll have a full afternoon.
ADC: Then my
kids will come and see her. They'll love that. The two boys, they're rock stars
themselves. They'll see this girl, and they'll be, "Dad, where the fuck did you
find her?" Hysterical. I came over to her to open up this account for one of my
kids, and she's just gazing into my—I just wanted to start jerking off on
the floor. Beautiful!
And
I'll call my friend Wheels, and he'll go, "It's unreal, what goes on." And I'll
go, "It does go
on." He'll go, "Only in your house does it go on." Two in the afternoon?
Unreal. I won't even need the Viagra for this one. She's that good-looking. That's a
good joke.