Anna Kendrick declares war on Christmas with female Santa Claus movie

By Sam Barsanti  |  January 12, 2017 | 1:19am
Aux Features Film

Tensions between idiot misogynists and normal people were bad in the lead-up to Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters movie, with idiot misogynists going after Leslie Jones, whining on reddit, and freaking out over the sort of hospital visit that apparently only Chris Pratt can do, but a new Anna Kendrick project just might trigger idiot misogynists even worse than Ghostbusters did. According to Variety, Kendrick is in talks to star in an untitled Disney movie from Miss Congeniality writer Marc Lawrence about Santa Claus’ daughter taking over for him when he retires. In other words, a girl is going to replace Santa Claus.

Obviously, this is another instance of PC-culture running amok, since Santa Claus was perfectly good as he was and he didn’t need to have his legacy tarnished with a pointless stunt like this. This is going to ruin a lot of people’s childhoods, so we’ve put together a list of airtight arguments that you can use if you need to talk about this over on the Donald Trump subreddit or whatever:

  • It’s supposed to be Santa Claus, not Santa Bras.
  • It’s “Jolly Old Saint Nicholas,” not “Jolly Old Saint Nicole.”
  • It’s “O Christmas Tree,” not “O Christmas She.”
  • It’s Christmas, not Christ-miss.
  • It’s “Merry Christmas,” not a woman named Mary Christmas.
  • It’s “Santa Baby,” not “Santa Lady.”

 
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