The Girl Scouts have offered dozens of flavors over the 80-plus years they’ve been selling cookies, introducing and then discontinuing such unpopular treats as Iced Berry Pinatas, Kookaburras, Thank You Berry Munch, and Total Domination Creme. (One of those is made up.) For the upcoming season—which will also feature online ordering for the first time, crushing years of tradition—the Girls have slated three new flavors: Rah-Rah Raisins, Toffee-tastic, and Trios, the last of which comes in a bag instead of the usual colorful box, eliminating yet another thing we thought we knew for sure about the universe. The Toffee-tastic description promises “buttery cookies with toffee bits,” while the Trios are made up of peanut butter, chocolate chips, and whole grain oats. Rah-Rah Raisins is the ostensibly healthy option, made up of whole grain oats, raisins, and Greek yogurt-flavored chunks. Each will be summarily crushed—both from a sales and flavor perspective—by Thin Mints, Samoas, and Tagalongs, proving once again that innovation might sound fine on paper, but what we’ll always return to in life is the comfortably familiar. (And yeah, we’ll probably Taste Test these.)
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