Today in Armie Hammer: "My mom got me a vasectomy for my birthday"
That's right, Armie Hammer has a podcast, and, yeah, he's talking about his mom gifting him a vasectomy on it.
Photo by Stefanie Keenan (Getty Images for GO Campaign)
Former movie star and timeshare salesman Armie Hammer is doing what many former actors and timeshare salesmen have done before: He’s started a podcast where he talks about the vasectomy his mother gave him for his birthday. Disinterested in beating the sexual abuse allegations that were creepy enough for people to believe he’s a cannibal, Hammer told the presumably massive audience of The Armie HammerTime Podcast that his mommy bought him a vasectomy for his birthday. Hammer’s mother, Dru, joined to discuss her son’s 38th birthday, which he spent being sterilized.
Like any doting matriarch, Dru called her baby boy on his birthday and asked, “Armie, what would you like for your birthday.” Being an out-of-work actor and timeshare salesman who claims to be broke but still a member of a wealthy family, he responded, “I don’t know, maybe money. Whatever.” Bor-ring! Dru wanted to give him something special: “I believe I’m going to give you a vasectomy.”
We’re not going to besmirch the decision one iota. Getting a vasectomy is the best thing Armie Hammer’s done since Sorry To Bother You. Today, with women’s healthcare in jeopardy and the U.S. facing a national abortion ban, men should finally step up and play a role in birth control. If people want to avoid unwanted pregnancies, they’re going to have to clog the old vas deferens, especially if Trump moves forward with Project 2025’s plans to restrict contraceptives further. For too long, women have been poked, prodded, and needled with birth control methods, from uncomfortable IUDs to hormonally chaotic birth control pills. Vasectomies are safe, effective, and only slightly painful. More than 500,000 men get this minor outpatient surgical procedure every year. So, while we support men playing a more significant role in birth control, we do think it’s a little weird (and, dare we say, funny) that his mom randomly suggested it as a birthday present.
For the record, Hammer went through with the procedure. However, he suffered the indignity of telling the receptionist that mommy would be paying for his sperm tube tie-off.
“She was looking down and she [looked up] and goes, ‘What?’ And I go, ‘Yes, my mother gave me this as a birthday present,'” he continued. “It just was one of those things like you could tell she was hearing something and like, ‘I’ve never heard—what are you talking about?’ So yeah, my mom got me a vasectomy for my birthday.”
She sure did.