Unlike his comedy hero
George Carlin, Artie Lange isn't a master wordsmith. (Sentences like "I have
never eaten well, and because of that this shits thing happens to me every once
in a while" aren't exactly Dickensian.) But like Carlin, he can be funny and
brutally honest at the same. He also has amazing recall for the details of his
autobiographical stories; he seems to notice everything, from the dress a
drunken taxi passenger was wearing to the radio show he was listening to when
he encountered her. After stints as a cabbie, a stand-up, and a TV comic, Lange
eventually made his own move to radio, joining the cast of The Howard Stern
Show. He
seems to assume that most people reading his instant bestseller will be Stern
fans, and while that's certainly true, Too Fat To Fish is more than a companion
volume to Stern's program.
A collection of stories
from Lange's tumultuous life, Too Fat To Fish manages to be hilarious
even while discussing topics as harrowing as a suicide attempt. That chapter,
titled "Wah! I'm Out of Cocaine! Wah!" has the best writing and contains the
least humor. (Lange does say that he's upset his mother didn't put his suicide
note on the family fridge, which he acknowledges as "a lame attempt at levity
in a chapter that is nothing but a sea of depressing shit.") Another chapter
chronicles his brief stint on MadTV; in a single insane evening, Lange abuses cocaine
and alcohol, hurls produce at his agent and fellow MadTV cast members after a
botched intervention, and ends up in jail for assaulting a police officer. He
later becomes addicted to painkillers, then heroin, which someone at a comedy
club suggests as "better for your liver." He gives endless credit to his
longsuffering mother, sister, and countless friends for sticking by him, and
apologizes to the ones that didn't. His deceased father, whom he idolized, comes
up frequently as well.
Lange's story is ongoing
and on display: When he calls in sick to the radio show, his co-workers spend
hours speculating on the air about his possible relapse. In spite of all the
material in Too Fat To Fish, Lange says he has more to share; he recently
announced on the air that he was asked to do a second book. Here's hoping he
can get his act together and stay alive long enough to write it.