Ready your “I’d buy that for a dollar!” jokes because KFC has unveiled its newest Colonel, and it’s… RoboCop? RoboCop, sure. And as confirmed by /Film, that is indeed Peter Weller’s voice–though whether that’s actually him in the clunky Robo-suit remains a mystery. The fast food brand revealed its latest hire in a series of ads, the first of which is a short news mockumentary in which the president of KFC explains that they needed someone to guard Colonel Sanders’ original secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices. The video exists somewhere in the uncanny valley of irony, where it’s hard to tell if it genuinely looks like a Nathan For You business plan or if it’s self-aware enough to be going for that.
RoboCop-or FauxboCop, as I will now call him–also appears in two other ads, including “Hungry Boy,” which sounds like it could’ve been titled by Tim and Eric, but sadly was not. (Note to KFC: Please hire Gregg Turkington as your next Colonel please and thank you.) The last ad gives us an idea of what it would be like to sit down and have a fancy southern meal (…of KFC) with FauxboCop, who could tell you the secret recipe, but then he’d have to kill you–which is how you know this isn’t the real RoboCop because he would never kill someone over something so petty.
RoboCop joins a long line of new Colonels for KFC, including recent additions like Jason Alexander and–my personal fave–Vincent Kartheiser. With the right attitude (i.e. a complete lack of shame and an interest in getting paid), anyone can be the Colonel.