Is it possible to make the Billboard Awards look edgy? After watching the Family Television Awards drone on for an hour last night, I can safely say yes, yes it is.
But what is the Family Television Awards? Well, "The FTAs" (as no one calls it) honor "family-friendly" programming, gave an award to The Ghost Whisperer last night, and were hosted by the dad from 7th Heaven and Hilary Duff's pinocchio-nosed sister, Haylie–basically it is the blandest awards show in history and you should avoid it at all costs.
The winners fell into 3 categories, either:
1. Shows you don't watch (Numb3rs, The Ghost Whisperer)
2. Shows you've thought about watching, but never have because you avoid The CW (Everybody Hates Chris) or
3. Shows with lots of flashing things, costumes, and shouting (Dancing With The Stars, Deal Or No Deal)
Evidently, families watch these shows together, and so they deserve awards, at least according to the organization that puts on the award show, the Family Friendly Programming Forum. But what is the Family Friendly Programming Forum? Just your average bunch of advertisers who really, really care about families (and the things they can sell them):
The awards are given by the members of the Family Friendly Programming Forum and selected by the members of the Association of National Advertisers. The 40+ major national advertisers that participate in the Forum are taking positive steps to increase family friendly programming choices on primetime television. Their mission is to support and promote the development of "family friendly" television across all programming genres between the hours of 8 p.m. and 10 p.m., when adults and children are most likely to watch television together.
…and most likely to fall for advertising together. Ah, family togetherness.
To sum up, here's a clip of the father and daughter from Veronica Mars accepting an award together–with all the sexual tension that implies: