Beware the "mild cleavage" of Harry Potter.

This week on the Hater podcast, Amelie Gillette and Baratunde Thurston, The Onion's esteemed Web Editor, read the entirety of an unabridged edition of Moby Dick—yes, including the chapters about harvesting the spermaceti and other whale parts—aloud into their microphones. When they listened back to their recording, however, it sounded like a discussion of the Dove Foundation's position on Harry Potter; How much the Real Housewives owe Bravo; the impressive "cellular acting" of Renee Zellweger; and the tyranny of cupcakes. So, that's weird.  Have a listen for yourselves.

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