Billie Eilish says she'll never comment on her sexuality again

Billie Eilish is growing up, which means touring alone without support from her mom and brother, Finneas, for the first time. The 22-year-old singer has also learned some lessons that unfortunately come with a childhood spent in the limelight; at some point, you have to start keeping the important things close to your chest. “I wish no one knew anything about my sexuality or anything about my dating life. Ever, ever, ever,” the “Birds Of A Feather” singer said in a recent cover story for Vogue with what the writer describes as “visible frustration.” She continued, “And I hope that they never will again. And I’m never talking about my sexuality ever again. And I’m never talking about who I’m dating ever again.”

Eilish learned this particular lesson the hard way. After a few accusations of “queerbaiting” and years of outsized speculation about her sexuality (“[T]hat’s everyone else’s business, right? No. Where’s that energy with men?” she once lamented to Elle), Eilish somewhat accidentally came out in an interview with Variety last year. “I love [girls] so much. I love them as people. I’m attracted to them as people. I’m attracted to them for real,” she said in her cover story. The next month, Variety again asked her to clarify her comments on the red carpet, asking “Billie, did you mean to come out in the story?” “No, I didn’t. But I kind of thought, ‘Wasn’t it obvious?'” she responded. In a later Instagram post, she wrote, “thanks variety for my award and for also outing me on a red carpet at 11 am instead of talking about anything else that matters i like boys and girls leave me alone about it please literally who cares.” 

Unfortunately, as we’ve seen with Chappell Roan—another young, queer pop star forced to make all her mistakes in front of millions—people really, really do care. “I guess I also underestimate that things I say will be blown up into the biggest news of the whole world… That’s so unnatural,” Eilish continued. The key, she’s found, is trying to separate her own self-worth from the reactions of the public. “If I was happy in my life, it was because people loved me on the internet. And if I was upset in my life, it was usually because people didn’t,” she explained. “Over time, I think I’ve made a really good mixture… making sure I feel like myself, and I’m not only being satisfied by the external validation.”

That’s a great directive in theory, but obviously easier said than done, especially for someone who came up in the internet age—hence, her newfound determination to actually keep her private life private. “We’re all babies. We’re all little kids growing up and learning ourselves,” she said. Hopefully, these lessons will afford her a little time to do that learning in her art and away from the cameras as the Hit Me Hard And Soft tour goes on.