Just months after ending his career as a wrestling promoter, Billy Corgan is throwing his ratty, cat-hair-covered sweater back into the ring. TNA Entertainment announces that the Smashing Pumpkins frontman and purveyor of “Fuck You Anderson Cooper” t-shirts has joined Total Nonstop Action Wrestling as “Senior Producer, Creative and Talent Development” for the company. It’s a role that will see Corgan developing characters and storylines for TNA’s show Impact Wrestling—which airs Friday nights on Destination America—as well as other TNA programming.
“Saying I’m humbled and honored by this opportunity to be part of TNA, a world-class wrestling organization, is an understatement and a dream come true,” said Corgan, missing an opportunity to say that today was the greatest day he’d ever known. This will be Corgan’s second time doing this kind of work, as he co-founded the Chicago-area Resistance Pro Wrestling several years back, but quit this fall after a planned reality series with AMC fell through. “The world is a vampire, and I hereby invite it to get in the ring and go a few rounds with the Corganator,” the singer probably snarled just before this latest press release went out.
The man who performed an eight-hour concert about Siddhartha also had some wise words about how rapidly the world is changing in these modern times, and how he’s just trying to do his part. “For as cultures currently evolve at great speed, so must pro wrestling meet and supersede such expectations to thrive,” the musician declaimed, mentally paraphrasing his copious notes from 21st Century Business Speak For Beginners. For as wrestling must continually hire recognizable faces in an attempt to pick up new viewers, so too must Billy Corgan draw checks for thinking up new ways for someone named Rockstar Spud to deliver a piledriver.