Say what you like about 2019's Cats; it’s definitely an expression of something—possibly of how horny Cat Dame Judi Dench gets when Cat Ian McKellan laps up a big ol’ saucer of milk. Or whatever the fuck’s going on when Cat Dame Judi Dench stares into the camera for, like, 8 minutes at the movie’s climax. Or that bit where Cat Dame Judi Dench asks Cat Victoria Hawyard, “Would you like to watch me make my Jellicle choice?” as though it were English, and not Andrew Lloyd Weber-style nonsense.
Whew.
Anyway, it remains unclear how early the people actually making Cats—including Human Judi Dench, and also Human Jason Derulo—realized what a glorious mess of a movie they were making, but Derulo, at least, appears to have gone into the project (his first film role) with what would eventually prove to be ludicrously high hopes. Per ABC News, Derulo went so far as to say he thought Tom Hooper’s movie was “gonna change the world,” which, you know, be careful what you wish for, and all that. (Certainly, it changed the part of the world known as “Tom Hooper’s chances of lining up a directing gig any time in the next several years.”)
Derulo did some Rum Tum Tugger talk with The Telegraph this week, noting that, “Cats checked all the boxes,” citing its star-studded cast, Hooper’s recent Academy Award win, and, presumably, not the part where he would have to play a very horny kitty cat. “It taught me a lesson,” he added, with said lesson somehow not being, “If you find yourself dancing on a giant barstool, pouring milk on a bunch of human beings who are also dressed like horny kitty cats, self-interrogate,” but rather, “You can’t wait for the perfect moment, cause that might not be your moment.”
What a curious cat.