Bored Bruce Willis to be bored by another boring action film
Having accepted, as must we all, the inescapable tedium of life and its unceasing procession of fireballs, bored action film star Bruce Willis has agreed to be bored in another action film, in exchange for the money that is the only salve for his spiritual desolation. Willis has lethargically taken pen in hand and scrawled a looping “W.” at the bottom of a contract for The Prince from Emmett/Furla, the production company whose films like 2 Guns and Escape Plan manufacture the rote sequences of flying bullets and urban destruction that are now like a Gaussian blur applied to Willis’ very life, removing all detail but that which has a dollar sign in front of it.