Britney Spears wants to talk about cheetahs, which "can't speak English yet can run over 60 mph"

Britney Spears wants to talk about cheetahs, which "can't speak English yet can run over 60 mph"
Photo: Valerie Macon

Britney Spears still gets roasted for a 2014 tweet in which she appears to praise Lady Gaga and global warming in a single post. It turns out, however, that, no, she doesn’t think global warming is a good thing and Twitter, as so often is the case, is to blame for this misunderstanding. That leads us to wonder, then, if Instagram is somehow to blame for the below post, which has us scratching our heads in a similar manner.

“The cheetah is a large cat from Africa,” she posted on Wednesday and, sure, okay, off to a good start. “It can’t speak English yet can run over 60 mph lol,” she continues. “In other words don’t mess with the cat.” This is followed by several cat emojis, a single leaf emoji, some worried faces, and a woman sprinting in the wrong direction. It feels good, honestly, to still find one’s self genuinely confounded in this day and age.

This post has resulted in comments taking two different forms. One half of her followers assume Spears to be the cheetah. “Queen of the animal kingdom!” writes one. “I love you lioness Britney.” Another praises her as the “queen of animals who speak English!!” That at least somewhat intertwines with the other half of commenters, who are politely asking what speaking English has to do with running fast, as if there exists a clear, logical answer.

So, is Spears being funny? She inserts both a “lol” and a lol emoji, so you’d think so, but you never quite know when you’re dealing with the mega-famous; these people breathe different air, they drink different water. But there’s still plenty to unpack: What, exactly, is the joke? Why the cheetah fascination in the first place? Who’s thinking of messing with “the cat”?

And, perhaps most unnervingly, does…does Britney think some animals can speak English? Like, that new Lion King looked realistic, but…girl.

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