Possibility: There are aliens among us. They have studied us for a long time. Just how long we cannot be certain, but they've been extremely active since Hiroshima. Their plans are uncertain, and perhaps unknowable, but almost definitely sinister. Their aim is worldwide conquest. In order to throw Earthlings off-track, they have infiltrated the publishing industry and printed altogether too many 400-page shitheaps like Witnessed. The book's premise is that one Linda Cortile, a married mother of two living in New York, was levitated out of her bedroom window by aliens in the fall of 1989. Despite the fact that they possessed sufficient technology to travel trillions of light-years to our planet and arrive undetected, they are seen—but not photographed—by dozens of eyewitnesses. They pop a mysterious implant into Linda's nose, and we actually get to see X-rays of that: They seem to indicate that Linda got her beezer caught in the stapler. Without getting too far out of hand, certain things must be established: 1) Many people, perhaps as much as 15 percent of the U.S. population, believe themselves to be victims of alien abduction, despite the overwhelming lack of physical evidence. 2) Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, so aliens may indeed be abducting people. 3) This is so scientifically improbable that it's as close to impossible as science allows. Still, something is happening here. If this many people believe something this weird is happening to them, then it's probably worth finding out what's going on. In the Middle Ages, people thought they were being abducted by angels or demons; with the rise of science and the technological culture, aliens have taken their place. It's clear that some important and unexplored phenomenon, possibly psychological, is being overlooked here. But it sure as hell isn't almond-eyed macrocephalics from Antares. And it sure as hell is stupid and greedy to cash in on suggesting that it might be.