Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, July 30. All times are Eastern.
TOP PICK
Nine For IX (ESPN, 8 p.m.): We added this 30 For 30 companion series—which commemorates the passage of Title IX, the landmark equal-rights legislation that had its most lasting impact on women’s sports—rather quietly, so now we’re making a bigger deal out of it: Hey! Kevin McFarland is covering the remaining films in the Nine For IX series! Including tonight’s profile of “The female Michael Jordan,” Sheryl Swoopes! So watch it, and then read it, so we stop feeling bad about not making this announcement sooner!
REGULAR COVERAGE
Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): If Joe Reid showed the episode synopsis for tonight’s Pretty Little Liars to someone from the 1940s, they’d probably take all the mentions of Hannas, Monas, Calebs, Zoes, and Arias to mean that this show is either a space-opera fantasia or a period piece set in Biblical times. After that, they’d probably die of a heart attack, because a future man showed them digital words about a picture box.
So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8 p.m.): After the elimination of BluPrint and Mariah last week, the road to a Fik-Shun-Amy win has pretty much been paved. Of course, Oliver Sava warns you that this construction will last another six weeks, weather permitting.
Suits (USA, 10:01 p.m.): The firm is abuzz about a “British version of Harvey,” an addition to the cast that the British version of Carrie Raisler calls “positively smashing, chip-chip-cheerio guv’na crisps royal baby!”
TV CLUB CLASSIC
The Shield (Classic) (11 a.m.): Is “Slipknot” finally the episode where Vic and the Strike Team team up with the clown-princes of masked nü-metal to solve a mystery, Scooby-Doo-style? If so, Brandon Nowalk can’t wait to find out that, under those masks, the members of Slipknot are merely eight different Old Man Jenkinses.
Six Feet Under (1 p.m.): Nate attends the funeral of Brenda’s father, which doesn’t sit well with Lisa. John Teti guesses it has something to do with what happened right before Nate’s dad kicked the bucket…
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Deadliest Catch (Discovery, 9 p.m.): The ninth-season finale is two hours long, which can only hint at one thing: Someone’s going to die. Or maybe everyone’s going to be okay! Not every catch on this show has to be deadly, right?
LA Sugar (E!, 9 p.m.): At last, someone finally blew the lid off of the secret Hollywood dessert scene—and that someone is the production company responsible for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Ace Of Cakes, so it’s not a “someone” at all.
Capture (The CW, 9:30 p.m.): Two teams are stranded in a tricked-out forest setting, competing for a grand prize of $250,000 in what could have been pitched as “Oh Sit! for Capture The Flag” but what also reads like The Most Dangerous Game: The Reality Show.
The Profit (CNBC, 10 p.m.): Camping World CEO Marcus Lemonis is so loaded, he’s willing to blow $2 million on a failing business—so long as he can get a cut of the profits if the business turns around. You know, just like how Daddy Warbucks took in Little Orphan Annie with the caveat that 75 percent of the royalties from “Tomorrow” are invested back into Warbucks Industries.
Mean Girls (Showtime, 7:30 p.m.): Still disappointed about the end of 30 Rock? Do you have no access to Netflix, Hulu, or syndicated reruns, yet still subscribe to premium movie channels? Treat yourself to the first half-hour of Tina Fey’s auspicious debut as a big-time screenwriter…
Baby Mama (FXM, 8 p.m.): And then wrap up the night pretending like this movie is a crossover prequel to Parks And Recreation, where Liz Lemon helps Leslie Knope get her shit together through the miracle of surrogacy.
Classic Boxing: 1993: Bowe-Holyfield II (ESPN Classic, 8 p.m.): A classic example of why you don’t hold boxing matches outside: James “The Fan Man” Miller, the parachutist who interrupts the seventh round of this Riddick Bowe-Evander Holyfield bout, the second fight in a night-long marathon of Bowe and Holyfield’s in-ring rivalry. Miller is also the future inspiration for a great Simpsons gag.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Adventure Time: SKY WITCH? Ah! Where! If there’s one thing that’s worse than a regular witch, it’s a witch that can take to the sky! Surely, Oliver Sava will protect us!