CBS seeks frat bro with "keg stand experience" to bring keg stand verisimilitude to legal drama
Frat bros whose keg stand experience is so woefully underappreciated in today’s job market have a new potential application for their skills in the world of acting, provided they can get over it being kind of queer. As UPROXX reports, a casting notice recently went up on the Facebook page for CBS’ forthcoming legal drama Reckless, the series we previously learned would feature a sexy Yankee attorney sexily clashing with a sexy Southern attorney over a sex scandal, with the pair eventually crossing the ol’ Mason-Dixon line. That's a euphemism for the waist, just above the body's sex parts. They will have sex.
Since then we’ve also learned that the sexy Southern attorney, played by Twilight’s Cam Gigandet, will be named Roy (Ling Genitals, ideally), and that he is described as “a liberal Renaissance man” who “surfs, loves skateboarding and hip-hop but also fishes, hunts and collects guns,” presumably in addition to graffiti-bombing overpasses, krumping, and owning an iPod, but also wrasslin’ bears, writing speculative fiction about Teddy Roosevelt, and being incredibly racist.
Anyway, if you thought the show’s way with characterization stopped there, check out the exacting verisimilitude it's seeking for a scene in which someone will be called upon to do a keg stand—hopefully as Gigandet’s renaissance man looks on and says, “Sick, brah!” while also filing his taxes.
Charleston, SC- Looking for MALE FRAT BRO to do a KEG STAND. Must have Keg stand experience (water or non-alcoholic drink will be used) All ethnicities between the ages of 18-25. Guys with six-packs, YOU MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH NO SHIRT ON. This will shoot Thursday evening and well into the night to the early AM. Pay is guaranteed $58 for 8 hours and time and a half after 8 hours. To be considered please have an up to date profile on www.extrassignup.com and email us at [email protected] SUBJECT: KEG STAND
It is here we must remind you of the dangers of lying about having keg stand experience on your résumé—a tactic that only ends up wasting everyone’s time. “Bro, we didn’t all come to this show about the dude from Twilight being a sexy hunter-skateboarder-lawyer, then take our shirts off, just to stand around and look stupid,” your fellow extras will say.