Although flagship series The Apprentice is on the wane, its Celebrity counterpart saw a slight rise in ratings last year—thanks in no small part to the life-or-death drama of eventual winner Bret Michaels, but also because Cyndi Lauper is a loudmouthed crazy person. And judging by the recently announced stars of the upcoming season of Celebrity Apprentice, Donald Trump is sort of stacking the deck in that last regard: Gary Busey, LaToya Jackson, and Sugar Ray frontman Mark McGrath are all in contention this year, with Busey squaring off in weekly double-headers with Jackson to see who can be the most divorced from reality, and with the increasingly manic McGrath to see who most resembles a walking embolism.
Not to mention that this year’s other contestants include Meat Loaf, Marlee Matlin, Lil Jon, David Cassidy, Dionne Warwick, Lisa Rinna, Star Jones, Real Housewives Of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes, Jose Canseco, disgraced Survivor winner Richard Hatch, supermodel Niki Taylor, Playboy Playmate Hope Dworaczyk, and country singer John Rich. What are the odds that a table stacked almost exclusively with shameless, narcissistic crazy people could achieve some sort of relative, Mad Hatter’s Tea Party semblance of sobriety?