Read this: Chappell Roan reflects on her meteoric rise and living with bipolar II

This past summer, Chappell Roan fundamentally redefined the meaning of blowing up as a pop star. Around the time of her paradigm-shifting Gov Ball performance (which saw the “Pink Pony Club” singer emerge from a giant apple in full Lady Liberty drag while smoking a huge joint), Roan recalled gaining “almost a hundred thousand followers a day.” “I was in severe denial,” she remembered. “They would literally show me some stats and the only thing I could do is say, ‘No, no, no. It’s not like that.’ I couldn’t say, ‘I am gaining success.'”

Now, she’s reflecting on her stunning rise—and all the profound weirdness that comes with transitioning from an opening act to someone capable of drawing what might have been Lollapalooza’s biggest crowd ever in a summer—in a new Rolling Stone profile.

In August, Roan made waves throughout the stan-o-sphere by bluntly insisting on personal boundaries in a way few stars have before. “Please stop touching me. Please stop being weird to my family and friends,” she posted in a long Instagram message calling out the “predatory behavior” she says some people try to disguise as “‘superfan’ behavior.” While her statement drew some frustrating criticism from followers who wished she was more “generous” with her time, the harassment Roan details in her profile is more than enough proof of why those boundaries are so necessary in the first place. (Not that anyone, especially a young woman, should ever need to provide receipts to feel safe in public.) Not only has Roan experienced stalkers and one fan who asked for a photo when she was in the middle of a fight with her girlfriend, but she also said someone grabbed her and kissed her at a bar. Apparently, a fan calling her dad after his number was leaked was the last straw.

These life-changing circumstances are compounded by the fact that Roan has been living with bipolar II her whole life, which went undiagnosed until she was 22. One period of mania in 2021 inspired her to be “really insane on TikTok,” she explained, which gained her lots of early followers and streams for songs like “Naked in Manhattan” and “My Kink Is Karma.” But this was a hard time for Roan. “I wasn’t sleeping,” she explained. “I was on the incorrect meds. I had the energy and the delusion and realized that this app is fueled off of mental illness. Straight up.”

She entered outpatient therapy shortly after, which she says she’s incredibly grateful happened before her meteoric rise. “I would not have been able to handle any of this even a year ago today. It would’ve just been too much,” she said. 

Luckily, she has an impressive group of friends and supporters who’ve reached out to let her know they have her back. You can read some of the sweet messages they’ve sent in the profile, but the list includes Olivia Rodrigo, Charli xcx, Billie Eilish, Hayley Williams, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, all three members of Boygenius, Mitski, Sabrina Carpenter, Orville Peck, Troye Sivan, Noah Kahan, and even Elton John. “I’m name-dropping them because people just need to know that people are good people,” she said.

Elsewhere in the profile, Roan also addresses turning down a performance at the White House (“I’m not going to go to the White House because I am not going to be a monkey for Pride.”), dealing with the internalized homophobia she absorbed growing up in the Midwest (“It took a lot of unlearning, and there’s still things I’m still confused about, and [it’s] why I feel so uncomfortable being gay sometimes.”), and working on new music. (Sorry “The Subway” fans; the live favorite probably won’t be her next single.) You can read the full profile here.