Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital this morning with severe abdominal pains after spending the night having a “marathon, wild party” with five women, one of whom was 22-year-old porn star Kacey Jordan (whom Sheen reportedly told he had been “searching for her for a year”—like a fairytale!). According to TMZ, neighbors “heard women inside Charlie's house singing Red Hot Chili Peppers songs throughout the evening,” not that they’re implying there’s a connection, necessarily. This morning Sheen was wheeled out on a stretcher, with “two young women exiting the house at the same time Charlie was taken out with a towel partially over his face.” Sheen’s recovery is not expected to affect the production of Two And Half Men because the show is on hiatus this week, and also because they’ve got to be getting pretty inured to this by now.
UPDATE: TMZ now quotes a source that Sheen had a "designer briefcase full of cocaine" delivered to the party, after which he "immediately began doing the drug for several hours." (Sheen's rep responds, "I can't comment because I have no idea if it's true. You choose to believe your source. I don't.")