Chelsea Handler is moving in with Netflix, as speculated two months ago—a temporal construct no longer recognized by time’s new lord and master, Chelsea Handler. Turns out Justin Bieber isn’t the only thing driving Handler from late night—it could’ve been the entire concept of “late night,” as well as regular night, early afternoon, mid-morning, and other constraints contrived by the tyranny of the hours, a tyranny that no longer dictates when Chelsea Handler gets to make jokes. In 2016 (which could be any other year in the eyes of Chelsea Handler, Queen of the Second Hand), Netflix-subscribing Chelsea Lately fans will be able to watch an updated version of that show whenever they please, getting but a taste of the freedom now afforded to the author of the travelogue Uganda Be Kidding Me. Despite the fact that the format of Uganda Be Kidding Me is now completely irrelevant to on-demand maven Chelsea Handler—she currently only flies first class along the fourth dimension—the book and subsequent comedy tour will form the basis of Handler’s first Netflix project. That special will be followed by four pieces of “docu-comedy” in which the comedian explores a variety of topics “ranging from NASCAR to politics and from Silicon Valley to the NBA draft.” But not time, because Chelsea Handler has officially broken up with time.
Chelsea Handler would probably also like you to know that “clock” rhymes with “cock.”