Childrens Hospital is back, and it’s got a gun. And some sperm.

Childrens Hospital is back, and it’s got a gun. And some sperm.

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Friday, March 20, and Saturday, March 21. All times are Eastern.

Top pick

Childrens Hospital (Adult Swim, 11:59 p.m., Friday): Those who can only take their absurdist, conceptual television satire in 11-minute chunks, rejoice! Rob Corddry’s sneaky-smart lunatic hospital comedy series begins its sixth season, as the title says, “Five Years Later,” with the doctors and staff of the worst hospital in the world picking things up further down the road. Don’t worry, though—all that time for reflection has decidedly not made the likes of Ken Marino, Megan Mullally, Malin Akerman, Erinn Hayes, Rob Huebel, Henry Winkler, Seth Morris, Lake Bell, or Corddry any saner. If anything, their time away has given them time to shore up their nonsense reserves, just for you! LaToya Ferguson scrubs in for this season’s reviews.

Also noted

Bloodline (Netflix, 3 a.m., Friday): For your sweaty, binge-watching pleasure, Netflix unleashes the entire first season of this Florida-based mystery-drama from the creators of Damages. A great cast, including Kyle Chandler, Sissy Spacek, Sam Shepard, Ben Mendelsohn, and Linda Cardellini, play the wealthy Rayburn family who find themselves scrambling for cover when the return of black sheep brother Mendelsohn returns to town to stir up buried secrets. Joshua Alston is on hand for a TV Review of the first three episodes, and you can expect the first of Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya’s daily reviews this afternoon.

House Of Cards (Netflix, 2 p.m., Friday): Scott Von Doviak continues to track the morally questionable adventures of Frank Underwood, President. They are morally questionable.

Glee (Fox, 8 p.m., Friday): Brandon Nowalk has bittersweet musical feelings about this series finale of a show whose initial promise has turned into a bad power ballad of a TV show. Basically, he’s dutifully reviewed a season-long version of “Beth,” so check out his final review and hum along, regretfully.

Grimm (NBC, 8 p.m., Friday): Well, commenters—you made enough noise about us dropping regular Grimm coverage last year that we here at the A.V. Club have completely caved and handed over the weekly reviews for the back half of this season to Portland, Oregon’s own Les Chappell. Sadly, that mean the end of our weekly What’s On Tonight Grimm monster of the week pictures (since Les will probably need all the best creature photos for his reviews). Oh, hell—just one more. We give you, from this week’s episode, werewolf with an axe!

Regular coverage

12 Monkeys (Syfy, 9 p.m., Friday)

Elsewhere in TV Club

Not that we here at the A.V. Club know about such things (as far as our mom’s are concerned), but this week’s AVQ&A reveals all of the pop culture that your favorite A.V. Clubbers think best enjoyed when in an altered state of mind. Then one of the A.V. Club movie review brain trust, Mike D’Angelo, brings you this week’s Scenic Routes, where he examines how a pivotal scene from The Social Network made staring into a laptop screen improbably thrilling. The character’s not playing Flappy Bird or anything. Then stick with Mike for his Watch This about the little-seen Impromptu, starring a young Judy Davis as gender-defying writer George Sand. And, if you’ve got some music left in your soul, Joshua Alston brings us his mammoth 100 Episodes article examining how Glee became a thing—and then decidedly not a thing, just in time for Friday’s series finale.

What else is on

March Madness (CBS, TBS, TNT, TruTV, all weekend): The college hoops tournament is here, with its brackets, and Cinderellas, and whatnot. Let John Oliver get you pumped up!

Hart Of Dixie (CW, 8 p.m., Friday): Annabeth has a dream where the founder of the town of Bluebell prophecies the end of the town of Bluebell. And also expresses second thoughts about naming the town Bluebell.

2015 mtvU Woodie Awards (MTV, 9 p.m., Friday): An awards show based on college students’ favorite music. And college students are pretty on the ball, so.

Star Wars Rebels (Disney, 10 & 10:30 p.m., Friday): They’re wild rebels! Crunchy, fruity rebels! Pouring milk on them is like shooting off a gun!

Helix (Syfy, 10 p.m., Friday): The race for the Bleeding Tree intensifies as the CDC team seeks the perfect name for their concept album.

Sex Box (WE, 10 p.m., Friday): SPOILERS: People have sex in that box.

Vice (HBO, 11 p.m., Friday): This week, the angriest news magazine show in town looks at shark overfishing and the militarization of America’s police departments. And then someone shoots a shark with a grenade launcher, just to piss Vice off even more.

The Jack & Triumph Show (Adult Swim, 11:30 p.m., Friday): Triumph becomes obsessed with the no-doubt rich and earthy scent of Goodfellas star Paul Sorvino’s pants.

Good Witch (Hallmark, 8 p.m., Saturday): Catherine Bell’s Cassie Nightingale is, indeed, a good witch. So when her perhaps not-so-good witch cousin comes to town, her goodness is put into conflict with the forces of not-goodness.

Stalked By My Neighbor (Lifetime, 8 p.m., Saturday): In yet another programming choice suggesting that Lifetime is the natural home for Stalker, a young woman moves to the suburbs after a home invasion, only to see spooky figures stalking her in the dark, tree-lined, stalker-friendly suburbs.

Black Sails (Starz, 9 p.m., Saturday): War comes to the formerly idyllic, pirate-infested waters of the West Indies.

The Musketeers (BBC America, 9 p.m., Saturday): The Queen is accused, the evil Rochefort is sending everyone to the chop, and only the Musketeers can stab enough people to make things turn out satisfactorily!

Premature (Showtime, 10:30 p.m., Saturday): In this ejaculate-based Groundhog Day, certain people are forced to type the phrase “ejaculate-based Groundhog Day.” At least Alan Tudyk’s in it, if you are really feeling this one.

In case you missed it

Dig: Since the numbers show that none of you really dig Dig, this will be our last weekly review of USA’s plodding archaeological, supernatural whatzit. Emily L. Stephens says a lukewarm goodbye, and then she’s off to play Dig Dug instead.

 
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