Chinese government denies moviegoers Kate Winslet’s three-dimensional breasts

If you’re trying to go see Titanic 3D in China, don’t hold your breath for the Kate Winslet nude-sketch scene. Chinese government regulators, afraid that the sight of Winslet’s bazongas in more than two dimensions would cause the audience to “reach out their hands and touch,” cropped her from the neck up in the crucial romantic moment. According to Hollywood Reporter, this censorship left certain Chinese moviegoers bereft. “I’ve been waiting almost 15 years, and not for the 3D icebergs,” one commenter complained to the Xingua News Agency (though the veracity of that quote has since been disputed). The same part of the film was cut out when Titanic originally premiered in 1997, but thanks to the wonder of bootlegged video, Chinese audiences are now familiar with the unadulterated version. India’s Censor Board, by contrast, though usually pretty strict about this stuff, let the re-release through with the painting scene intact, even though it was edited out when the movie debuted 15 years ago. Lesson learned: Times may change, but Kate Winslet’s rack is immortal.