Christ returns to NBC
As first prophesized over the summer, Jesus will return to save Earth’s poor and meek by lifting up NBC, giving the network the sequel to his hit TV show, The Bible, to which the network has just pledged its eternal soul for about six weeks. (Presumably NBC met a really cute, very religious girl at church camp.) “You might think the story is over at the Crucifixion, but as most of the world knows, that was only the beginning,” said NBC’s Jennifer Salke, in the sort of clichéd tagline that’d normally only be heard in a movie parodying Hollywood sensationalism, like maybe something Bill Murray cooks up in Scrooged, but which actually comes out of the mouths of real-life executives in this, our current age of darkness.