It was only a few years back that the world became enraptured by the bizarro erotica of Chuck Tingle, literature’s foremost chronicle of dinosaur-related butt-pounding. And, yeah, his goofy, feel-good schtick might feel quaint in the age of COVID, but bless him for continuing to pump out his perverted prose for us lonely buckaroos.
Since the beginning of the pandemic, Tingle has resisted requests to write a book about pounding the virus. “…Chuck has a firm policy about not profiting from, or making light of, natural disasters or events that are harming people on this timeline,” reads a statement on his website. That said, he has written some books that emphasize pandemic safety—they include My Handsome Sentient Face Mask Protects Me Despite The Ridiculous Conspiracy Theories That He Won’t Also He Pounds My Butt, Bisexual Vampire Unicorns Teach Me The Importance Of The Vampire Cough, and Not Pounded By Anything While I Practice Responsible Social Distancing, a book that really has us wondering what that dinosaur on the cover is up to if it’s not pounding butts.
These books and more are currently available for free as downloadable PDFs on his site. “While tinglers are typically $2.99 each on Amazon, Chuck would like to encourage you to send that $3, or more, to the health-based charity of your choice,” the statement continues. He recommends Doctors Without Borders, St Jude’s Children’s Hospital, Direct Relief, and Global Giving.
If you dig those, you may also be interested in Tingle’s seasonal content, which includes Scary Stories To Tingle Your Lesbian Butt: Seven Tales Of Ladybuck On Ladybuck Terror and Highway To Heck, a Choose Your Own Adventure book that doesn’t appear to contain much pounding at all. We’ll miss it, sure, but it’s nice to see Tingle broadening his horizons.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to [email protected]