Green Monkeys rule; Purple Parrots drool. As reported by Michael Walsh, these are among the findings of an exhaustive, math-based Nerdist study of Nickelodeon’s Legends Of The Hidden Temple. The bizarre 1993-1995 children’s program, a pseudo-historical action-adventure game show with a gauntlet of puzzles and obstacles to obfuscate and terrify young contestants, has lingered in the memories of ’90s kids and is about to get a live-action TV movie reboot. And the show’s genial host, Kirk Fogg has revealed that the show was nigh-unwinnable by design. But, of all six color-coded teams to compete on the original show, which was the most successful of all, the one most likely to conquer the show’s many pitfalls, including the Steps Of Knowledge and the Temple Run? Fortunately, when Walsh and his colleagues set out to find the answer to this question, they had plenty of raw data with which to work, thanks to a fan-curated site called Nickipedia that keeps tabs on these things.
Operating from the premise that Legends was “a mass extermination concerned with wiping out teams as quickly and brutally as possible,” the Nerdist researchers have broken down the data for each of the show’s four rounds and determined the winningest teams at each stage of the game. The Red Jaguars, for instance, barely edged out the Green Monkeys in successfully crossing the first-round moat. But the Green Monkeys were the leaders in the Steps Of Knowledge and the Temple Challenges. The Green Monkeys also nabbed more pendants than any team in Legends history. No one did particularly well in the infamous Temple Run, but the Green Monkeys are tied with the Silver Snakes with eight wins apiece. The Purple Parrots only managed that feat three times, earning a miserable .273 average. Come on, Purple Parrots, get your heads in the game.