Fort Collins, Colorado, is currently in the midst of a Count Chocula shortage, which is apparently the kind of thing people write letters to the editor about in Fort Collins, Colorado. (Seriously, someone wrote a letter to the editor about it.)
“Every year I greatly look forward to the month of October when I can purchase a few boxes of this delicious chocolatey goodness,” Kristin Clark, a Fort Collins resident who is a “vegetarian and organic eater for the most part” and a sarcastic letter-writer through and through, wrote to The Coloradoan. Clark’s annual high-fructose corn syrup binge was interrupted, however, by a cereal bandit who bought up every box of Count Chocula at two area grocery stores. (The Coloradoan, apparently not immune to snark itself, does point out that a third Fort Collins grocer has “plenty” of Count Chocula.)
This being Colorado, you might assume that the culprit was a roving pack of stoners attempting to somehow liquidate the cereal and turn it into vaping fluid. That guess would be wrong, but still close, as The Coloradoan’s investigation discovered that the cereal had been bought up by a local craft brewery with the intent of adding it to a frankly gross-sounding beer called “Cerealiously Count Chocula.” “Cerealiously Count Chocula” is a “milky stout” infused with cereal that is part of Black Bottle Brewery’s “Cerealiously” series, future installments of which will include “Lucky Charms for St. Patrick’s Day and Cap’n Crunch for another occasion.” According to its tourism board, Fort Collins is Colorado’s largest producer of beer, which is a little like saying a town is Oregon’s largest producer of bike-themed tattoos or Mississippi’s largest producer of pickup trucks with Confederate flags on them.
[story via Uproxx]