After this weekend’s fourth-place finisher Conan The Barbarian failed to excite anyone besides bloggers eager to pull out their “lamentations of the…” gags, Q&A site Quora posed a follow-up question to Sean Hood, one of four writers tasked with transforming Robert E. Howard’s epic tale into 112 minutes of sword stuff: “What’s it like to have your film flop at the box office?” As it turns out, it’s not that cool, bro, thanks for asking. Unfurling a lengthy, emotionally charged analogy, Hood compares the “devastating” loss to the feeling of “disappointment and disillusionment” that a campaign worker must feel when their candidate loses a presidential bid, saying, “Any film production, like a long grueling campaign over months and years, is filled with crisis, compromise, exhaustion, conflict, elation, and blind faith that if one just works harder, the results will turn out all right in the end.” Apparently this is true even if your candidate is just a dumbed-down rehash with no new ideas, be it a Conan The Barbarian remake or Rick Perry.
In keeping with this politics metaphor, Hood passes the buck a little, pointing out that, as in any campaign, he had disagreements with its direction that he was forced to keep to himself, at one point even saying, “I know that those who have read my Conan shooting script agree that much of the work I did on story and character never made it to screen.” However, he also acknowledges that, while heavily implying he shouldn't take all the blame, he takes Conan’s failure personally, saying, “The blow to your ego and reputation can't be brushed off. Reviewers, even when they were positive, mocked Conan The Barbarian for its lack of story, lack of characterization, and lack of wit. This doesn't speak well of the screenwriting.” Nevertheless, Hood resolves not to be crushed by his enemies and soldier on, just like in that new Conan movie that no one saw. Oh well, better luck to him—or rather, star turned imaginary Conan sequel screenwriter Jason Momoa—next time. Perhaps its campaign would have been more successful had Conan just kissed a few more babies? Or maybe accused Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes of socialism? [via Vulture]