Conspiracy Theory of the week

By Nathan Rabin | May 8, 2006 | 8:35pm

Aux Features The A.V. Club Blog

Hey You Guys,

I just received the following email from the good folks over at allhiphop.com alerts that I figured I'd share with you:

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Hip-Hop mogul Master P said he is filing a $500 million lawsuit against Sony Music, alleging that its executives are trying to keep Lil' Romeo's, "U Can't Shine Like Me" from getting played on radio. The song, which responds to Bow Wow's "Fresh Azimiz," began playing on Los Angeles radio station KKBT in February. According to Master P, unnamed Sony Music executives have been calling radio stations, demanding that Lil Romeo's record not be played. "How can Sony Music executives call radio stations and tell them not to play the Romeo record "U Can't Shine Like Me?" an inquisitive Master P asked AllHipHop.com. "I had a distribution deal on the table with Jive Records that fell through the crack – hint. Sony BMG. "I wonder why. Jive is a Sony BMG label. Sony BMG is the parent label for Bow Wow's label, Columbia Records."

How much hubris do you need to have to to imagine that corporate chicanery, blacklisting and strong-arm tactics are the only reason radio stations aren't rushing to play Li'l Romeo's "U Can't Shine Like Me" on a perpetual loop? Do you think it might have anything to do with the song sucking and P and his number one son being has-beens?

Also, shouldn't Sony Executives have better things to do with their time than personally call up radio stations and beg them to ignore the angry demands of the listening audience by not spinning "U Can't Shine Like Me"? Like keeping Michael Jackson down?

Why do you guys think Sony won't let Li'l Romeo shine? Also does Master P really merit being called a "mogul" anymore? Shouldn't that title have been rescinded in, I dunno, 2001?

Lastly, isn't 500 Million dollars a little exorbinant? Wouldn't a 475 million settlement amply compensate P and Romeo for their pain and suffering? Just imagine how many diamond-encrusted mansions and gold-plated stretch SUVS you could buy with that much scrilla.