Bob’s Burgers (Fox, 8:30 p.m.): Megan Mullally missed out on all the time-hopping fun on Childrens Hospital this week—maybe because she was too busy cultivating cartoon weed with husband Nick Offerman on Bob’s Burgers. Rowan Kaiser humbly requests the show refrains from bogarting all the Mullally.
Revenge (ABC, 9 p.m.): So Emily’s mother is still alive, but her whereabouts are being withheld because of an “unspeakable truth.” Carrie Raisler has faith that Revenge will manage to articulate that truth nonetheless—probably through a shocking cliffhanger reveal.
The Walking Dead (AMC, 9 p.m.): An episode entitled “Sick” doesn’t bode well for the show’s not-so-merry band of survivors. Unless the writers meant the slang definition of “sick,” in which case Zack Handlen is strapping in for a bad hour—“bad” meaning “good” here, like the kids mean it!
The Good Wife (CBS, 9 p.m.): “Don’t Haze Me Bro.” Ugh. Time to shut down the Internet, folks. David Sims will collect your ID badges and avatars at the door.
Family Guy (Fox, 9 p.m.): Seth McFarlane dons his “social commentary” hat (it looks like the once Cap’n Crunch wears, because references) to take a few punches at Big Pharma. So long as “Big Pharma” doesn’t turn out to be a rejected Cap’n Crunch villain, Kevin McFarland will allow it.
Boardwalk Empire (HBO, 9 p.m.): “Nucky finds himself in a pickle” begins the episode synopsis—which is also the logline of Noel Murray’s proposed children’s book, Boardwalk Empire For Kids: Hey Nucky, What’s In Those Barrels? Given that recent Sesame Street parody, we figure this’ll go over gangbusters (no pun intended) with the little ones.
Dexter (Showtime, 9 p.m.): Take it from Walter White, Dex—once you do bad things in an RV, it takes a lot of maneuvering to get rid of the evidence. Joshua Alston will be standing by with the forklift if it’s needed, though.
American Dad (Fox, 9:30 p.m.): With boy bands all the rage once more, it’s time for a new round of animated boy-band parodies. You can keep your Fingerbangs and Party Posses—no cartoon crooners will ever make Kevin McFarland laugh as hard as New Kids On The Block.
666 Park Avenue (ABC, 10 p.m.): Gavin’s in trouble with the law for some shady real-estate deals—funny, seeing as he’s the embodiment of all shady dealings in the world. Nonetheless, Zack Handlen knows you can’t put the devil on trial.
Treme (HBO, 10 p.m.): Christmastime in New Orleans promises an antidote to the feel-good vibes that typify Yuletide TV offerings. Nothing says “Seasons greetings!” to Keith Phipps like violence spurred by public housing demolitions.
Homeland (Showtime, 10 p.m.): Given what Carrie saw at the end of last week’s episode and what Brody did the week before that, the affair won’t be the only thing making their reunion at Langley awkward. We’d get into specifics, but we don’t want to make things awkward with Todd VanDerWerff.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Beetlejuice (ABC Family, 7:59 p.m.): It’s really too bad Beetlejuice co-stars Alec Baldwin and Catherine O’Hara didn’t cross paths during O’Hara’s recent visit to 30 Rock. Baldwin couldn’t even attempt to terrify O’Hara via Harry Belafonte for old time’s sake?
Gulliver’s Travels (TCM, 8 p.m.): Dave and Max Fleischer’s answer to Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs also hinges on a population of tiny people—though, as products of Jonathan Swift’s imagination, the Lilliputians and Blefuscudians are put to more allegorical ends than Dopey, Doc, and friends.
Sunday Night Football: Steelers at Bengals (NBC, 8:20 p.m.): The Steelers head to Cincinnati without a single road victory under their belt—a trend that puts the Bengals in good position to snap their four-game losing streak against Pittsburgh.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Nikita: Do you want to be kicked in the face by Maggie Q on a weekly basis? If yes, let us know by reading Phil Dyess-Nugent’s review of Nikita’s third-season première.
