Kieran Culkin wings it, Will Smith nails it, and 13 more relatable moments from the 2022 Critics Choice Awards

After winning Best Actor In A Film for his performance as Richard Williams, Will Smith thanked the first family of tennis directly: “I am here tonight with Venus and Serena, and their sister Isha. I really just want to say to all of you: Thank you for entrusting me with your story… You all define the American Dream. You represent the best of what we all hope this world and this country can be.” But when Smith got flagged that his speech was running long, he landed the perfect volley: “Oh, ‘please wrap up.’ Sorry. I think Best Actor should get a little more time. I’m just sayin’!”

Ted Lasso stars Brett Goldstein and Hannah Waddingham swept the awards for Best Supporting Actor and Actress in a Comedy Series. Fittingly, both of the free-speaking British actors had words bleeped out in their acceptance speeches. So much for Goldstein promising, “I’m really not gonna swear this time.” Okay, Roy Kent.

Belfast star Jude Hill blended humility, authenticity, and youthful enthusiasm after he won Best Young Actor and the film snagged Best Acting Ensemble in rapid succession.““I’m gonna have to be completely honest, I have nothing prepared,” the 9-year-old actor chirped before delivering the kind of charming, off-the-cuff speech that his adult peers could learn from. “Thanks to my mum and dad for always being there and for letting me go down this path in the first place,” he said. “And, of course, the best for last: Sir Kenneth Branagh. I love you so much. Thank you for choosing me.”Hill got a chance to do it all over a few minutes later when Belfast won the film ensemble honor. In his second speech, an overjoyed Hill said: “I’m just going to keep this really short and simple. Thank you so much Critics Choice Awards. This is too much.”

“Critics are not usually very nice to me. So this is a change.”

CODA’s Troy Kotsur continued his awards-season winning streak at the Critics Choice Awards and the British Academy Film Awards, which both took place on Sunday.“I can’t believe it, that this is happening the same night,” the deaf actor signed. “Two birds with one stone–you know what I mean? BAFTAs earlier tonight, and now Critics Choice? Oh my God. Thank you, all of the members of the Critics Choice Association, for recognizing my work and the positive message that has really brought us all together tonight to lead me to be on this stage. I send you my heart and my love.”

A number of big winners couldn’t make the ceremony—resulting in multiple jokes about stolen statuettes. No shows Jennifer Coolidge (Best Supporting Actress In A Limited Series), Jason Sudeikis (Best Actor In A Comedy Series), Sarah Snook (Best Supporting Actress In A Drama Series), Kate Winslet (Best Actress In A Limited Series), and Jessica Chastain (Best Actress In A Film) all had their awards accepted by presenters.

After picking up the statuette for Best Supporting Actor In A Drama Series, Succession’s Kieran Culkin began: “I was just telling Jeremy [Strong] how I really hope they don’t say my name. I was really looking forward to that relief of not having to say anything.”Culkin then ribbed his fellow nominees and Succession castmates J. Smith-Cameron (“You are probably my favorite actor to do scenes with… after Sarah Snook”) and Matthew Macfadyen (“Another fun fact: Matthew Macfadyen’s real name is David. It’s true. Look it up!”)Culkin ended the remarkably Roman Roy-esque speech by joking, “Now, I’m just making an ass of myself. But yeah, thanks. You’re never going to do this for me again. Thank you.”

Yellowjackets’ Melanie Lynskey earned Best Actress In A Drama Series, and then delivered one of the most sincere thank you’s in awards history. After honoring a slew of Hollywood types, Lynskey concluded her speech by saying: “The most important person I think I have to thank, and then I’m finished, is my nanny Sally. I love her. She is an absolute angel. She is with my child, and I know my child is safe and taken care of. She allows me to go and do my work. She is just… thank you, Sally. I love you so much.”

Accepting his Lifetime Achievement Award following a lengthy tribute reel, Billy Crystal said, “Watching those clips just now made me think of one word, and that is ‘residuals.’”

Made For Love’s Ray Romano was nominated for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, but didn’t expect to win. So he used his time presenting Best Supporting Actress in a Film (won by West Side Story’s Ariana DeBose) to honor his wife.“I want to do something because seriously I’m not gonna win,” Romano quipped. “So right now, I want to say I love you to my wife who is here. Thank you for letting me do that. I, like most guys, don’t say it enough. It’s much easier during sex or acceptance speeches. So I’m glad I said it because I don’t think either one of those is gonna happen tonight.”

Accepting her award for Best Supporting Actress in a Film, West Side Story star Arianna DeBose said, “I wrote some things down and yet my phone is over there. That’s unfortunate.”

“I’m gonna throw out most of my speech, because I have to tell you something,” Hacks’ Jean Smart proclaimed at the start of her acceptance speech for Best Actress In A Comedy Series.“Friday morning our director Lucia [Aniello] went into labor. So we were kind of making due on Friday. But she was literally at home getting the feed, directing us between contractions. I kid you not. This woman is my idol. And yesterday she and Paul Downs became parents for the very first time to a beautiful baby boy.” Wow.

Power of the Dog director Jane Campion took the podium twice on Sunday, accepting both Best Director and Best Picture. “We are so proud and so grateful to the Critics Choice Awards for choosing us,” Campion said in a speech that spoke to her decades-spanning career as a defining voice in feminist film. “I’ve still got some PTSD from critics going back to early in my career,” the 67-year-old Campion quipped. “I’m like the grandmother in the women’s movement in film now. But I’m still here!”

As with the Spirit Awards last week, Critics Choice 2022 featured numerous presenters speaking about the war in Ukraine.“I’m from Bulgaria and my home city is just a few hundred miles away from Ukraine,” said Maria Bakalova, a presenter this year who won a Critics Choice Award last year for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm. “So as we gather together on this special night, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the bravery of the people of Ukraine who are defending their right to independence and democracy… We see you, we stand with you, and our hearts are with you.”Los Angeles Rams Coach Sean McVay, presenting Best Picture with his fiance Veronika Khomyn, handed the mic over to the Ukrainian-born Khomyn. “I proudly stand with my fellow Ukrainians and I admire their strength,” she said. “They have faced unimaginable adversity with such profound grace and bravery. Their fight and the way they have united the world is truly inspiring.”

“I want to say thank you to fellow actor President Zelensky–keep up the fight.”