Out of the many, many mysteries embedded in our pop music—Who is this Sara person Jefferson Starship is going on and on about? Exactly what percentage of Justin Timberlake's songs are about Britney Spears, and how angry do you think that made Cameron Diaz? Who is Joanna, and why does Kool & The Gang pause in the middle every time they profess their love for her? What can we do to make ourselves less jealous of RuPaul's boogie? etc.—one of the biggest is "Who did Carly Simon think was so vain that she wrote 'You're So Vain' about them?"
And today, almost 40 years later, we finally have our answer to the incredibly vexing Carly Simon conundrum. Apparently it's some person named "David."
From the intrepid reporters at the UK Sun:
Carly, 64, had always claimed in public that the song was a "composite" of people she knew.
But she solved the riddle by whispering David's name BACKWARDS in a reworked version of the 1972 song for her new album Never Been Gone, out next week.
The Sun speculates that "David" refers to David Geffen, who was the head of Simon's record label at the time. But I think we all know who the David in question here really is: professional breaker of singer/songwriter hearts, Dave Coulier.
It's always Dave Coulier. In other news, if you play "You Oughtta Know" backwards, you can hear a voice whispering, "Cut..it..out."