David Hasselhoff wants to sell you a terrifying 14-ft. David Hasselhoff

“Everything goes, even Big Dave,” David Hasselhoff says in a video posted on his Instagram account Monday. It appears the former Baywatch star is auctioning off every bit of memorabilia he’s amassed over the years—including a 14-ft. replica of himself that was used in The SpongeBob Movie. Bidding on the monstrosity opened at $100,000 but the auction site states that it will likely go for anywhere from $750,000 to $1,500,000. At press time there were two bids on the item, the highest for $120,000.

If a giant David Hasselhoff isn’t your thing, you can go for something more life-sized, with a signed cutout of the actor as his Baywatch character. But get your offer in quick; with 11 bids the cutout is already going for above it’s estimated $300 price tag. And those looking for just a little David Hasselhoff can get a 20-in. cutout of the shirtless Baywatch stud if they outbid the current offer of $125. There’s also an “Early Hoff Sexy Photograph” and a “Rare Hoff Photograph From.” That’s literally the title. It doesn’t say where it’s from.

For the auto enthusiasts, “Davids [sic] Personal Kitt Knight Rider Car” could also be yours, though it’s already going for high above it’s estimated sale price of $300,000. Or you could go for “Hoffs [sic] Peronsal [sic] 1961 SL190 Mercedes Wow,” which is currently at $21,000.

There’s also plenty of signed scripts, props, jackets, and even some worn and autographed red swim trunks. As mentioned above, items already have bids on them but live bidding opens on Saturday, January 23. The auction website states that “a portion of the proceeds for this auction will be donated to David’s charitable organizations” but doesn’t specify how large of a portion…