As I endured a god-awful brisket sandwich at the cowboy-themed eatery The Grub Steak on Thursday I was struck by just how comically butch it seemed, which made it an ostensibly incongruous setting for a John Waters-hosted Queer brunch. Or was it? Is The Grub Steak's almost comic burlesque of hyper-masculinity really all that different from the over-the-top ironic macho archetypes of The Village People?
Nevertheless Sunday morning this aggressively hetero home of meat and potatoes comfort food and cheesy Wild Western iconography was transformed into a happening gay nightclub, complete with a DJ pumping out non-stop techno and disco, an open bar and a steady stream of queer celebrities traversing a makeshift red carpet. The most iconic of all was the irrepressible John Waters, resplendent as always in sunglasses, a purple and black striped jacket and his trademark mustache. He was there to promote a film series delightfully titled Films That Will Corrupt You and illustrated yet again his mastery of the pithy one-liner and droll, self-deprecating wisecrack as he very patiently made his way through a punishing gauntlet of tape-recorder wielding journalistical types.
The other gay VIPs tended to be a lot less impressive, like D.E.B.S. and Herbie: Fully Loaded director Angela Robinson, who was very ostentatiously announced by the red-carpet hype-man and then stood there awkwardly waiting for people to talk to her. I felt bad for her but honestly the only questions I could possibly ask would be:
1. Was it difficult making a movie about nubile teenaged lesbians in skimpy schoolgirl uniforms that's absolutely no fun whatsoever?
2. What's it like sucking in both studio films and the
independent realm?
3. Just how drunk and crazy is Lindsay Lohan?
On the way in I followed Jenny Shimizu, an actress and model best known for being Angelina Jolie's lesbian lover. Again I felt like I should ask her a question but the only one I could think of was, "What's it like having sex with Angelina Jolie? I bet it's fun."
I'd also never attended a press conference before but when I heard that The Beastie Boys were doing one to pimp their red-hot new joint Awesome! I Fucking Shot That! I couldn't resist. So after the screening we were herded into cabs blasting Beastie Boys, a neat little continuation of my Awesome! experience. It was all terribly dramatic and my adrenaline was pumping as we were hustled into a red tent where we then waited 50 minutes or so in the freezing cold for the boys to arrive. When they finally showed up and sheepishly made their way into the tent I was a little shocked at how unassuming they looked. For my generation at least they're as iconic
as you can get but I couldn't help but think that they looked like the middle-aged suburban dads who used to pick up the other kids at Hebrew school, especially Adam Yauch, who looks a good 10 years older than Adam Horowitz, who still looks like a latter-day Bowery Boy.
I was hoping for either a Beatles-like press conference full of wit and irreverence or the morbidly fascinating spectacle of clueless Journalists firing off hilariously clueless questions. I was disappointed
in both respects but there were some pretty fascinating moments, as when Mike D posited Three 6 Mafia (see, he does keep up with what the young people are into) as a shining example of the DIY egalitarian spirit coursing through both punk rock and hip hop. For the most part Adam Yauch–who directed under his Nathanial Hornblower alter ego–would very earnestly answer sincere questions while his bandmates chipped in with the odd wisecrack or the occasional snappy answer to stupid questions. The other highlight was a journalist from Texas with diamonds in his teeth and a wonderful Southern accent who inquired:
"I'm really glad y'all played "Brass Monkey" in the movie cause I luhhv that song and I love to drink Brass monkey. Are y'all still drinking that brass monkey?
The Beasties took the bait and waxed ironic on their love of Brass Monkey, positing it as their mock sponsor. It was a definite highlight though I had to bow out a little early to catch a screenings. I can only stand so much of that kind of raw truth.
Your Man On The Ground,
Nathan Rabin