Disney supercomputer rearranges franchise database to develop live-action Cruella De Vil movie

After clearing its increasingly outdated, processor-consuming Jerry Bruckheimer software, the Disney supercomputer that was long ago installed to calculate the remaining permutations of the studio’s existing properties is moving much faster, outputting live-action remakes of its animated films at a speed not seen since it was new. So even with Cinderella, Maleficent, and another Alice In Wonderland all running in the background, it’s easily formulated Cruella, a live-action update of 101 Dalmatians that fulfills its programmed requirement of outputting family entertainment, without forcing Disney to think up new stories or quit out of Chrome.

Of course, both 101 Dalmatians and Cruella De Vil have had the live-action treatment twice before, with Glenn Close playing the dog-skinning socialite in both 1996’s 101 Dalmatians and its 2000 sequel, 102 Dalmatians. But this version (from Devil Wears Prada writer Aline Brosh McKenna, who also wrote the Cinderella reimagining) will be told from the point of view of its villain—an angle that technically counts as an original story, according to the supercomputer’s binary code of remakes. Casting will commence as soon as new programming is inserted to inform the computer that Pluto isn't a real dog and therefore unable to be combined, even if it would maximize resources.